Parent weighs change of school for child
QMy 14-year-old daughter Cindy had tough issues this year in school. She missed or skipped going to classes and got low grades.
Her father, my ex-husband, wants Cindy to live with him in Maine, where she’d repeat the eighth grade. He says that in a new atmosphere — and because she already spent a year in the eighth grade — she’d do well, academically speaking. He also agrees that after a year, Cindy would return to live with me, and he’d then pay for her to start ninth grade in a parochial school near my home.
If I agree, every Friday afternoon, my ex would drive Cindy to my home. I’d drive Cindy back to Maine to go to school on Monday morning. And, I could also see Cindy in Maine on Wednesday afternoons.
Because I don’t know what I don’t know, are there any legal traps I should consider?
ARight now, Massachusetts is Cindy’s home state. But Massachusetts law provides that if Cindy lives in Maine for six months, Maine will then automatically become her home state.
At this point, all the states except Massachusetts have adopted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. The UCCJEA requires that, if there is an agreement — which should be in writing — that Cindy live for one year in Maine with her dad and then return to live with you, you then could ask a Massachusetts court to enforce it.
Because there’s no UCCJEA in Massachusetts, after Cindy lived in Maine for six months, you’d need to ask a court in Maine to order Cindy back to your primary custody if enforcement is needed. But, and this is a big but, your ex could then claim Cindy’s best interests require that she continue to live with him. If the Maine court agreed with your ex, you might also be ordered to pay him child support.
Sure, your ex might not know the laws. Maybe he doesn’t want Cindy to live permanently with him. But why roll those dice?
Instead of taking that chance — and to avoid paying legal fees later on — spend your money to now enroll Cindy in the eighth grade of a nearby parochial or private school. Otherwise, those dice may land on an order that Cindy continue to stay with her dad.
Before that happens, the Massachusetts or Maine court would consider if Cindy was mature enough to decide where she wants to live. Arguably, if a female child is old enough to be impregnated and has a right to decide to either abort or have that child without telling her parents, she ought to be considered old enough — even if the judge believes that’s not the best decision — to decide the parent with whom she wants to live. Wendy O. Hickey has since 1994 been involved in and since 2003 been a trial lawyer who concentrates her practice on national and international family law. Any legal advice in this column is general in nature, and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Send questions to dearwendy@bostonherald.com.