Stress might be cause of kid’s night terrors

Lately my 4-year-old child has been waking up in the middle of the night crying. He doesn’t appear to know where he is and it takes quite a bit to calm him down. His mother and I just separated, and he goes back and forth between our homes every couple of days. I’m not sure what to do.

Let’s take a look at what’s going on and why your child may be manifesting these behaviors. An educated guess is that your child is experiencing “night terrors.” Night terrors are different from nightmares in that they originate in a different part of the brain. While a child may remember a nightmare the next day, they have no recollection of a night terror.

Night terrors are most often seen in children 4-12. This may happen because their central nervous system is still maturing. Studies show that about 80 percent who have night terrors have a family member who also experienced them.

There are quite a few things that could be contributing to night terrors, from being overtired to taking a new medication. Stress is also a common factor, as well as sleeping in a new environment or being away from home.

The first thing you do is consult his mother. That may not be the first thing you want to do, but separating may be the contributing factor to your child’s problem, and you and mom have to figure this one out together.

Although separated parents may take it for granted that their child will go back and forth between homes, the back and forth life may not be the best parenting plan for your child. Some kids can handle it, some cannot. Your child may be one of those who does not. If that’s true, the unselfish thing to do is decide with his other parent which would be the best primary home and look for additional time with the other parent by being more flexible with the schedule. That may mean he sleeps primarily at one home and visits the other on weekends. Rather than full overnights every couple of days, dinner visits may be more appropriate until he gets older and more accustomed to his parents no longer living together.

This is when a parent might say, “Well, that doesn’t seem fair.” Stop it. You don’t make decisions in your best interest. You make them in the interest of your child.

There’s no treatment for night terrors, but if they continue, consult your child’s pediatrician. Get on the same page with mom or dad and establish a bedtime routine that’s simple and relaxing, and prevent your child from becoming overtired by staying up too late. This can only happen if you are doing your best to co-parent.