‘BACHELOR’ LIFE HAS THORNY SIDE, TOO
Exes talk time on hit show, its aftermath
Pop open your finest box of sauvignon blanc and grab your comfiest pair of yoga pants because the latest season of “The Bachelorette” has begun. While you may have been snuggling on your couch for the season 13 premiere last night, the Track was talking to former contestants Vinny Ventiera and Jared Haibon at a shindig they organized at Empire in Boston.
“It’s messed with my head,” Haibon said of his experience on the show, right before fans of the ABC franchise gathered in the swanky Seaport establishment.
“I feel like every choice I make is this huge decision when it’s not,” he continued. “In ‘The Bachelor’ bubble, it was … you’re put in an awkward situation that in real life, you’d be able to just walk away from. But on the show, you can’t walk away. You have to make a decision and then have it judged by millions of viewers.”
“There are no breathers,” added Ventiera, a Long Island native who now DJs at both Boston club GEM and Foxwoods’ Shrine.
Haibon, who was on season 11 of the show, met Ventiera, a season 12 vet, when they were on “Bachelor in Paradise.” Now, this dude duo is on a similar page about how the experience has changed their perspective on dating.
“My biggest mistake (on the show) was not knowing what the core things were and just focusing on what’s on the surface,” Ventiera said. “Then, I could have seen a couple of red flags before I dove in.”
“Yeah, first dates in real life are full of surface stuff ... like what’s your favorite color?” Haibon chimed in. “In ‘Bachelor’ life, it’s not that. You’re asking things like, ‘ Do you want a husband? What do you think about having children?’ ”
Even if these guys have managed to readjust to the real world of dating, their love lives are still impacted by their time spent on “The Bachelorette.” Mostly, because millions of people have already seen them in their courting element.
“People think they have a good idea of who you are and already feel a connection with you, when you’re just going into a first date trying to know them,” Haibon said.
Even if their dates don’t watch the show, Ventiera and Haibon said they have to awkwardly bring it up early on “because you know they’re going to find out,” as Haibon put it.
And then there’s the slew of unsolicited messages on social media from female admirers trying to win them over. Ventiera offered one simple rule by which he abides: “You don’t answer them.”
Sorry ladies, save those direct messages for some other guy.