TIGER CAUGHT BY HIS OWN TALE ... OF WOE
Iconic golfer hits rock bottom
Tiger Woods’ DUI arrest mug shot slapped America across the face Memorial Day afternoon.
He appeared as if he hadn’t slept in days. Everything was bloated and puffy. His hairline fell back a mile.
Gone was the Tiger smile that once flashed across the universe. Gone was the youth that Tiger exuded when he won the Masters 20 years ago in record-breaking fashion. Gone was the near-perfect glow of a world-wide celebrity.
This Tiger had been neutered, declawed and rolled up in a ball inside a jail cell in Palm Beach County, Fla., after being brought in at 3 a.m. and booked four hours later.
The picture was worth a thousand memes. Each one more vicious than the last.
There is no safe space on the internet. And fallen golfing legend and cultural icon Tiger Woods has no place to hide, especially from himself.
This wasn’t a cry for help. This was a death-defying scream. No
one was hurt when Tiger got behind the wheel Monday morning, allegedly under the influence. But that was pure luck, no thanks to his proclivity for self-destructive behavior.
Nearly 10 hours after his release from jail, Woods issued a statement. “I take full responsibility for my actions,” he said. He added that “alcohol was not involved” and that he suffered “an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications.”
Woods has undergone four back surgeries since 2014, the most recent in April. Just last week, he posted a message on his website saying he has “not felt this good in years.” Fake News. Perhaps Tiger meant to say, “I have not felt good in years.”
Woods has been here before. In the wee hours of Black Friday in 2009, Woods used his Cadillac Escalade to murder a fire hydrant and ram a tree outside his Windermere, Fla., home. Days earlier, lurid details of his infidelities were leaked by the National Enquirer.
Woods would soon enter sex addiction rehab, get divorced and apologize to the world for what he had done — including a majorleague roster of dalliances before and during his marriage. There was the vow to do better for his children, his ex-wife, his mom, himself. He expressed similar contrition last night.
His 14 majors and 79 PGA Tour wins are forever countered with chatter about waitresses, lingerie models and porn stars. A fiveparagraph statement is not going to wash away yesterday’s mugshot, either.
Seventeen years ago to the day yesterday, Woods became the first back-to-back winner of Jack Nicklaus’ Memorial Tournament. Just 24 at the time, Woods already was an international superstar, inspiring a generation of kids to play golf. Now, Woods has been stuck on 14 majors for nine years. He turns 42 on Dec. 30. He won’t play golf for at least another six months, given his back issues.
For 281 weeks starting in June 2005, Woods was ranked No. 1 in the world. Today, he is No. 876, right between Han Lee and Nicolai Tinning.
Two decades of public fascination with his moves on and off the golf course, hundreds of millions of dollars in prize money and endorsements, a single-name moniker recognized everywhere, and Tiger was left to drive at 3 a.m. — allegedly under the influence of something and by himself — on Memorial Day. Sad. “Take an Uber” was one common refrain.
“How can this guy be alone?” was another.
When the greats ply their craft — whether they be athletes, singers, actors, politicians, business titans — there often seems to be a nagging feeling that things will end in calamitous fashion.
In Tiger’s case, calamity came calling for the second time Monday morning.
Only the greatest comeback of his career can save it now.