This guy seems intent on making a point here
A few days after a terrible argument in which he accused his ex-girlfriend of cheating on him, a man in Antioch, Calif., set fire to her car, went looking for her at the McDonald's where she worked and smashed the window of the restaurant with a crowbar when he found she wasn't there. Then he broke into a home, stole a shotgun, ammunition and a car, and shot out windows at her place of work and her relatives' home. After carjacking another vehicle when he ran out of gas, the cops finally caught up with him and brought him in.
NOW HE CAN SHOW UP FOR WORK EVEN LESS ... A high-ranking New York court official, who earns $166,000 a year, accidentally butt-dialed a newspaper reporter and said, “I barely show up for work.” He was fired.
FOLKS, WE HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE ... A weeklong cheese festival in Brighton, England, had to be canceled because they ran out of cheese.
MOMMY NEEDS HER MEDICINE ... A woman was arrested after she snorted cocaine while waiting in her car for her child in the parent pick-up line outside Lexington Middle School in Lee County, Fla.
PLEEZE LETT THISS GUY OUT ... In order to get himself out of jail in Barstow, Calif., a man had his girlfriend — a secretary at the sheriff's office — write a letter on official stationery saying he was on a special mission for the ATF. Unfortunately, she wrote the note entirely in capital letters, and made a number of spelling errors. This fooled nobody.
I GUESS I’M TURNING MYSELF IN ... A drunken driver on the southbound side of Highway 1 near Aptos, Calif., crashed his Jeep into a sign that said “Report Drunk Drivers.”
HEH HEH, THEY’LL NEVER CATCH ME ... KA BOOOM! ... After a night out on the town, a woman who saw police chasing her on the M60 in Manchester, England, led officers on a 120 mph chase. It ended when her engine blew.
OF COURSE WE BELIEVE YOU, SIR ... A man on a rampage used a forklift to seriously damage a building under construction in Crestview, Fla., then threw cinderblocks off the scaffolding. He told arresting officers that his name was “Alice Wonderland and he was told to commit the offenses by a hookah-smoking caterpillar.”
WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME PULL OVER, COPPER! ... A man who stole a steamroller in New Orleans was quickly chased down by police because the vehicle has a top speed of only 8 mph.
SEEMS LIKE A PERFECTLY NORMAL KID ... A New Jersey 9-year-old has applied to be NASA's Guardian of the Galaxy Planetary Protection Officer. He said he is qualified for the job because he has seen a lot of space movies, and his sister thinks he is an alien.