Etiquette training can smooth path to better job

Some might scoff at the notion of etiquette training in 2017, but they won’t laugh at the results, according to a Gen X entrepreneur.

Naretha Hopson of Ever-Appropriate Etiquette Institute started her business working with middle schoolers, but her message resonated with corporate leaders and job training agencies developing millennial and Gen Z talent.

Among the young, there’s often a perception that “traditional” means “out-of-date” or “stodgy,” but Hopson, who is also launching online courses at ever-appropriate.com, said young professionals ignore her advice at their own peril.

There’s a widespread perception that millennial and Gen Z professionals are entering the workforce more immature than previous generations. Hopson says it’s a sign of a difference in etiquette training.

“A lot of people don’t know what they don’t know,” Hopson said. She noted that too often a candidate can be discounted for a simple social mistake because it’s a cue that they won’t be a good representative of a company that’s looking to appear savvy, confident and competent.

“It’s a game and it’s not fair, but if you know the rules, you can increase your chance of success,” Hopson said.

“Increase,” she said, not ensure.

She’s heard the refrain that someone did everything right and someone else seemed to do everything wrong, but they achieved X, Y or Z.

Her explanation is not comforting: That’s life.

She also said that’s no reason to handicap yourself further. Just because you think someone isn’t following the rules and benefits from the lucky gene pool club doesn’t mean that they haven’t mastered some secret code.

You can fight the rules, decide that being true to yourself means that you’re above the rules, or insist that the rules are discriminatory and don’t apply to you, but that means you are likely compromising your next job, raise or promotion opportunity.

Jennifer M. Davis, assistant director of Business Career Services at the University of Missouri-Columbia’s Trulaske College of Business, said the word “etiquette” isn’t necessarily used to define corporate soft skills but it’s one of the most important business skills students acquire.

Etiquette, not just good grades or a resume, make the difference between getting an internship or a job and ending up in the “thank you for applying, but ...” category.

“We’re in a tech-savvy world, but the ability to write and craft a good email is sometimes lacking,” Davis said. A casual, overly familiar tone can be detrimental.

“I can see students saying that the ‘Dear Mr. or Ms. whoever’ letter is oldfashioned, but you might be walking into a generation of ‘yes, sir’ and ‘yes, ma’am.’” She coaches students to be aware of the generation, culture and expectations of the hiring agent.

Rules vary, but it’s almost never a bad idea to err on the side of formality.

Hopson added that no one is going to tell you that you don’t meet the unspoken criteria of what they consider executive behavior or bearing. You’ll just find yourself pigeonholed and confused by a lack of mobility.

Everyone needs to know the rules and everyone has to learn the rules, it’s not necessarily an innate cultural communication, Hopson said. But depending on your exposure to elite social circles, you might be at a disadvantage. She said she helps level the playing field.