Absence makes the heart grateful
Sometimes, I’m reminded of how blessed I am. That happened this past week when my wife visited her brother in New York.
Please understand, I’m not entirely oblivious. I always know, when she’s here, how lucky I am to have her around. I appreciate the nice things she does for me; I laugh at her jokes; I enjoy her physical presence. It’s only when she’s gone for an extended time, however, that it hits me with full force just how much I love her.
After dropping her off for her journey on Friday, I had four days in which to be a bachelor again. It wasn’t going to be dancing girls and drunken revelry. I planned nothing more than buying enough Chinese food to last until her return, then watching sports and the Three Stooges. I bought the Chinese food that afternoon, watched the Celtics that night, and otherwise settled in for relaxation.
On Saturday, though, I became ambitious. My car needed minor servicing, so I dropped it off at a garage and left the keys. After taking the bus back to our neighborhood, and walking a quarter-mile to our house, I discovered that along with the car keys, I had left my house keys at the repair shop.
Had my wife been home, this wouldn’t have been a problem. I would have knocked on the door, she would have let me in, and we both could have had a big laugh about what a dope I was. Instead, I stood at our front door and cursed. I didn’t want to waste two hours by walking back to the bus stop, waiting for the bus, traveling back to the garage, claiming my keys while explaining to the garage owner that I was a dope, then repeating the trip home.
Then I remembered that being a dope might save me. I had recently taken down a window air conditioner. I walked around back and checked to see if I left that window unlocked. Sure enough, our home was available for breaking and entering, so I raised the window and climbed through it like a burglar. If you’re a real burglar, I’ll point out for your safety that I’ve booby-trapped that window now and nothing we own will be worth your pain. Of course, being a dope, the next time I lock myself out, I’ll have forgotten about the trap and I’ll be the booby.
Anyway, I ate Chinese food for four days, watched the Celtics win three times, picked up the car when it was ready, and everything was OK. But that’s all it was. I missed my wife (and not only because she would have opened the door for me when I locked myself out.)
We’ve been together for almost 28 years and she’s my soulmate. She laughs at the same jokes I’ve told her for 28 years, and nobody else would hear them more than once without wanting to become Moe to my Curly and slap me. She listens to me yell at the TV when some evil referee is trying to do in the Celtics, and she understands. And I couldn’t be the bum writer I am without her bringing home more money for Chinese food than I usually do.
There’s no place like home, but only when she’s part of it.
We’ve been together for almost 28 years and she’s my soulmate. ... She listens to me yell at the TV when some evil referee tries to do in the Celtics, and she understands.