Here’s an instruction manual
A few hours after being released from jail, a 20-year-old man tried to steal a locomotive from a railyard in Phoenix. He climbed into the engineer's seat, and started moving levers and pushing buttons while reading the operation instructions he found inside. He inadvertently sounded the horn, which brought workers there to investigate. They said that all he had left to do was engage the gear and apply the throttle, and he would have gotten the locomotive to move.
WHAT!? YOU CALL THAT EVIDENCE!? ... A game warden engaged in a 3-mile low-speed chase of an intoxicated hunter she spotted driving erratically through a rural area of Lubbock County, Texas. Along the way, the guy tossed his 32-ounce cup of whiskey and water out the window, and the pursuit ended when he parked at his home. The warden found an empty half-gallon bottle of Canadian whisky and two loaded pistols in his back seat.
AND ANYWAY, THE MOVIE WAS BORING ... A couple took part in an act of “nude, frenzied copulation” in a movie theater at midnight in San Antonio. They were caught by a “shocked” usher and charged with public lewdness. The man told arresting officers, “We were just having a little fun!”
IS THAT YOU, DELORES?
... A woman robbed the branch of a Chicago bank she used to work at, and her only disguise was a dark curly wig, black lipstick and a pink floral nightgown, which did not keep her former colleagues from recognizing her. She was arrested when she showed up at another branch of the bank across town, her current employer.
NOW, THAT’S HOW YOU MAKE AN ENTRANCE
... A man clad only in a tight black T-shirt and high heels barged into a couple's home in Rutherford, N.J., at 5 p.m. and yelled, “I'm here!” frightening the residents who were watching television at the time.
OH YEAH, SHE’S RUNNIN’ PRETTY GOOD NOW ... CRASH! ... After repairing his car, a somewhat intoxicated man took it for a test drive in Hayes Township, Mich., at 1:30 in the morning, and crashed it into his own home.
SHE REALLY WASN’T THAT HARD TO CATCH ... An 86-year-old woman who uses a walker to get around tried to rob a bank in Philadelphia. She was arrested before she could leave the building.
HEY, HOW DID YOU GUYS GET HERE SO FAST? ... A man was injured when he was ejected from his car during an annual road race in Runnells, Iowa. Since the event was a fundraiser for the fire department, at least 10 emergency medical technicians and an ambulance were right there to treat him immediately.
WHEN RUNNING FROM THE COPS, JUST KEEP MOVING ... A man who was fleeing from police walked into a home in Boca Raton, Fla., asked for a glass of water, and, while the lady of the house was getting it for him, started to play with her cats. He then left and dove into the Intracoastal Waterway, where a police boat picked him up.