Sometimes love makes a tough decision tougher

Pat’s no different from a million other guys his age, 76, wanting so much to buy just the right thing for the girl of his dreams, who is now 72.

But while his head keeps telling him what it is she needs most, his heart keeps fighting him every step of the way.

“Sometimes she’ll seem OK,” he said. “It’s almost like she’s her old self again. Then 10 minutes later she’ll get anxious and ask, ‘Why don’t you put me someplace and leave me?’”

That’s Alzheimer’s disease, mercilessly calling the shots.

“A couple of nights ago, I went to get takeout for supper and said, ‘While I’m gone, why don’t you put out the plates and silverware?’ When I came back she was in a panic; all the lights were on, all the drawers were open, and she was crying because she didn’t know where anything was.”

Pat hears the ticking of an invisible clock, telling him the life he loved with this woman he loves is soon to vanish.

The adult day care he enrolled her in is becoming inadequate, meaning he now needs to explore a full-time residential facility.

He’s already checked out a few. They’re safe and comfortable; they also have caring staffs and calendars filled with dancing, singing and games, clearly offering his sweetheart a better quality of life than he can now provide at home.

“They have names like Reminiscence and Memory Lane,” he noted. “But my

‘Deep down, I want so much to tell myself she’s OK, yet she can’t participate in a normal conversation anymore. For all intents and purposes, I’m living by myself right now.’

name for them would be hell.”

Meanwhile he tries to pretend it’s not all in her mind; could a bit of it be in his mind, too? Is his imagination perhaps running wild?

“Deep down, I want so much to tell myself she’s OK, yet she can’t participate in a normal conversation anymore. For all intents and purposes, I’m living by myself right now.”

He still goes to his shop twice a week, just for a breather, but is then reminded Joe Louis was right: We can run, but we cannot hide.

“I wake up almost every night around 2 and lie there thinking. Could it be the best thing for her would be the worst thing for me?

“Someone told me the time to make this move is when I begin to resent her. But how could I ever resent her? I love her. This is nothing she’s doing by choice.

“I guess I know what has to be done. I just don’t have to do it today, not with Christmas coming. When the holidays are over, I’ll think about it then.”