Survivor’s feelings of anger, hope
When David O’Regan first heard the news of Cardinal Bernard Law’s death, he said he wasn’t sure how to feel. So the 67-year-old — a sexual abuse survivor who now runs the monthly Boston-area meetings of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests — sat down and wrote out his thoughts on the disgraced archbishop.
Here’s what bubbled to the surface, as told to the Herald’s Matt Stout:
My wife mentioned to me, “It’s kind of like you get to dance on his grave.” I’m not that type of person. But the emotion that I was overwhelmed with — and I was able to sort out this morning — was anger.
Anger that in 2002, this sexual abuse crisis emerged here in Boston, spread across the country and then across the globe. And we haven’t made great strides. Cardinal Law was never punished. He escaped this country in the dark of night and flew to the Vatican.
Although I’ve been able to forgive my perpetrator because I’ve had help processing the harm he’s caused my childhood and my life, I realized that anyone in the position of power (as Law was) who would do that to a 12-year-old really is mentally ill. The thing that I have difficulty forgiving Cardinal Law or forgiving the church for is that they have not shown the contrition.
Cardinal Law was never punished. No cardinal has ever been punished by the church. So that’s where I’m at today. I’m angry. The world has to take notice what is going on in the church.
Coincidentally, the next SNAP meeting at Newton-Wellesley Hospital is scheduled for Sunday.
One thing that I think Cardinal Law’s death is going to do, it’s going to jog a lot of memories.
I’ve done a lot of work to process the harm that was done to me. I’m at the point now that I can help other people. So anytime I give an interview like this, I hope it helps them to find the courage to come forward.
‘The world has to take notice what is going on in the church.’ — DAVID O’REGAN of Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests