Losing 150 lbs. helps woman gain self-respect
On May 13, 2016, Ruza Jevtic finally conjured enough courage to step on a scale. It screamed 341 pounds. She knew she had to do something.
The 38-year-old Valparaiso, Ind., woman had spent almost two years confined to her bed with a serious back problem, directly related to her obesity, she said.
“I couldn’t even get dressed or put on my socks and shoes,” she said. “My parents had to do everything for me.”
She blamed her thyroid problem. She blamed her blood-sugar level. She blamed everything but her eating addiction.
“I used those excuses as a crutch,” Jevtic said.
For too many years, she said, she secretly gorged on snacks. She snuck into fast food drive-thru lanes on her way home for dinner. She celebrated with pizza, she mourned with pasta, she found companionship with Chinese food. Rationalizations became her late-night snack.
Food was her best friend and her worst enemy. She repeatedly ignored the adage, “What you eat in private, you wear in public.” Since childhood, Jevtic wore shame, guilt, embarrassment and disappointment. She fit into them easier than into her clothes.
After countless visits to nutritionists and weight-loss experts, a physician finally told Jevtic the truth: She needed to stop eating so much. Period.
“Deep down I knew it,” Jevtic admitted.
She was tired of wearing men’s clothing because it fit better. She was embarrassed having to sew together two pairs of pants to play on her softball team. She was weary of amusement park rides for fear of not fitting in, literally.
“I was never able to walk into a store or a boutique and buy clothes,” she said. “I always bought earrings or necklaces because clothes never fit me.”
Society judged her on her weight, not on her smile or spunk or intellect.
“People see you as less than a human being, and definitely treat you like that,” Jevtic said. “I hate when people say that looks don’t matter because, believe me, we all know that looks matter.”
Her physical obesity led to mental health problems, she said.
“It made any interaction in the real world a scary situation, filling me with fear,” she said. “While most of my friends were going on dates, I was staring at the same four walls fighting major depression.”
It destroyed her selfconfidence, self-love, trust with others and a social life.
“Life as a fat person makes you calculate each move. You are always aware of your surroundings, thinking things like, ‘Can anyone hear me out of breath after walking up the stairs?’ or ‘Can I fit into the chair at the staff meeting?’ or ‘Are those kids laughing at me?’”
“I have been in situations that your everyday skinny person would never think of,” said Jevtic, who still feels embarrassed to reveal the cause of her chronic back pain.
After two years of visits to six hospitals and undergoing numerous injections into her spine, she said she was diagnosed with sacroiliac joint dysfunction, a common problem for pregnant women due to the weight from a baby in their belly.
“I was not pregnant. I was just so obese and carried so much weight in my stomach,” Jevtic said.
All this led to her weighing herself for the first time in years on that now unforgettable Friday the 13th.
“I told myself that I could not live my life this way anymore,” Jevtic said.
Her goal was to lose 100 pounds in one year.
She joined a weight-loss support group on Facebook. She put herself on a low-carbohydrate diet. She measured every meal. She counted carbs, counted calories and counted on herself to keep it going. It wasn’t easy. She had relapses. Some days she would eat the wrong foods, or too much of them.
“But I was tired of wasting so much of my life,” Jevtic said.
She started walking. One step led to 100, then to thousands. She started lifting weights. And logging every pound she began losing.
“I lost 17 pounds in the first couple of weeks,” Jevtic said.
It motivated her to keep trying. To keep counting, logging, walking, lifting.
By May 13, 2017, she had lost those 100 pounds. Her reward was a tattoo of an orthodox cross on her wrist. It became a daily reminder of the cross she once had to bear.
People began treating her with more respect, she said. In turn, she began respecting herself. And loving herself. And caring for herself.
She now looks at food as fuel for her body, not as a security blanket for her emotions.
Jevtic has now lost nearly 150 pounds, with excess skin from her arms recently removed surgically. She weighs 190 pounds, with at least 15 pounds from extra skin that she plans to have removed someday.
“I can now go into any store and buy any clothes I want,” she said.
She recently finished classes in real estate and plans to become an agent. She registered for a body building competition for participants who have undergone major weight loss. And she is going through certification to become a personal trainer.
“I want to help others lose weight and change their life, too,” she said.
Her advice comes from 25 years of shame, guilt and embarrassment.
“You have to want it for yourself or it will never work. You can’t do it for anyone else or for any other reason. Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t give up.”