‘One Kidney – Two Lives’
Dear John: Ever since I read about your plight I have been thinking about you and your family. Fifteen years ago this month, I donated one of my kidneys to my sister Alicia. It was a life-changing experience for both of us then, and continues to be to this day. Most people, though, miss the bigger picture: giving a kidney gives the donor a chance at a new life as much as it does for the recipient. Let me tell you how.
When I was first told about my sister's illness I was fighting for my political life, running a mostly losing campaign for state treasurer. I was depressed about what seemed to be the inevitable outcome and trying desperately to figure out a way to survive. Once I got tested and was told I was a match, my entire outlook changed. I realized then that no matter what happened on Election Day, I would have the opportunity to accomplish something bigger and make more of an impact than I ever could in elected office. I was given a second chance … and for some strange and possibly cosmic reason, I got the chance to do both!
Deciding to give a kidney to my sister was the easiest decision I ever made. Going ahead and donating it was the hardest. I couldn't stop thinking about the potential consequences and how the surgery might impact my life. I thought about my wife and children. What if things went terribly wrong? … For months leading up to the day of the transplant, I played out each scenario in my mind: “Will I come out worse than when I went in?” “Will everything be properly hooked up after?” “How much will it hurt?” and even occasionally “Can I die?”
When I finally got to the final few days before D-Day, I was even contemplating how I might somehow gracefully back out of my commitment. … I remember lying all alone on a gurney outside the operating room, thinking this is my last chance to escape! Then I woke up. And my life had forever changed.
As I reflect on it all now, fifteen years later, I understand better why and how. If there was no fear to overcome, no pain to recover from and no life to alter I would not have come out of the experience tougher, stronger and more at peace. … Understand, John, that your search for a kidney … will not only save your life but the life of whoever is lucky enough to be chosen as your donor. I can not only promise you that, I can promise him or her as well. One kidney saves two lives. My sister and I are living, breathing proof. Have faith.
Your friend for life. Tim