GRONK CRASHES BACHELOR PARTY
There’s not much that Rob Gronkowski can do this offseason that’ll surprise us these days. So when a guy tweeted that the Patriots tight end crashed a bachelor party posing as a leprechaun, we could only think, “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“I think Rob Gronkowski just crashed my bachelor party in disguise,” John Breech posted alongside a photo on Twitter yesterday.
The fuzzy photo was clearly taken on the fly, shot from a distance with a purse partially blocking the view. It shows a massive man, who definitely looks like Gronk, in athleisure from the head down, with a fake red beard, sunglasses and a shamrock top hat.
While we’d normally have our doubts about the abnormally large leprechaun’s identity, Breech is a trusted source. As luck of the Irish would have it, he’s a sportswriter who covers the NFL for CBS Sports and the son of former kicker Jim Breech.
As of late, we New Englanders have been swept up in a whirlwind of “will he, won’t he” theories pertaining to Gronk’s odds of retiring. We’ve all started donning our secret decoder glasses, hanging on his every social media post and trying to figure out if he’ll be sticking around next season.
Breech’s tweets suggest that those measures might not be necessary. Instead, if you want to hear it from the player himself, all you have to do is pull over a barstool with your pint, profess your passion for the Patriots … and not be a member of the press.
“I’m drinking at my bachelor party, so roll with this as you will … but Gronk was in the booth next to me at a bar, told a Patriots fan he WASN’T retiring,” Breech wrote on Twitter. “My dad (alltime leading scorer for Bengals) talked to him. Told him I was media, said TBD on retirement.”
“Not sure if he’s going to retire, but said he could be playing for the ‘69ers’ next season,” he also included in his series of tweets. “I love my job. I love Gronk. #Patriots.”
As football followers know, no such team exists — though Gronk famously has a fixation with the number. In typical Gronk form, he didn’t skip a beat when kicking it into goofball gear, fabricated team name included.