C’mon, you coppers will never catch me!
A man fled a traffic stop in which two of his buddies — all of whom were riding four-wheelers — were pulled over in Defuniak Springs, Fla. But he returned to taunt the deputies, driving in circles in the middle of the road with a beer in his hand, shouting, “Come and get me!” They did.
YOU SEEMED MUCH NICER IN THE BIBLE … A man broke into the Pizza Hut in High Point, N.C., then dialed 911, told the dispatcher what he had done and claimed to be Jesus Christ. He said he committed the crime, “because I'm Jesus. I can do whatever I want.”
I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL … A man who was awarded a court settlement of $96,000 carried the money with him in a suitcase when he engaged the services of three prostitutes at a motel in the Bronx. After they had sex, the ladies suggested that they have a “friend” stop by with beer and cigarettes. Then two guys with guns came and took all the money.
IS THIS A GOOD TIME TO TALK? … A woman who had filed a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend found him hiding in the trunk of her car after she pulled into an East Texas Walmart.
FUNNY STORY, BOB, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS … After taking delivery of his brotherin-law's $461,000 Ferrari 488 GTB in Hertfordshire, England, a man took it for a test drive and crashed it into a tree. Repairs are expected to cost about $172,000.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT!? … A couple used a barn owl to deliver the rings at their wedding in Cheshire, England. It flew in and landed — as expected — on the arm of the best man. Unfortunately, the bird then turned and attacked one of the ushers, knocking him off his seat.
YES MA’AM, THEY ARE, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! … After officials in Elon, Ariz., celebrated a “Day of the Dinosaurs” by placing 7-foot-tall statues of the prehistoric beasts in a local park, a woman called police and asked if they were real.
IT SEEMS THE DOPE YOU HAVE IS GOOD ENOUGH … A man, in search of “better dope,” smashed a stolen semi truck through the fence at a joint military base in Pierce County, Wash. He told arresting officers that he thought he was being chased by paratroopers falling from the sky.
THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS … A man got his arm stuck in the donation drop box at Trinity Episcopal Church in Vero Beach, Fla., as he was trying to steal the money “for drugs.”
THE WORDS HAVE STOOD THE TEST OF TIME … A year ago, two men tattooed the words “I am a thief” on the forehead of a teenager who had stolen a bicycle in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Last week, he was arrested for stealing deodorant from a supermarket.
I THINK HE WENT THIS WAY … A burglar, intent on stealing cigarettes and lottery tickets, entered a store in Kawkawlin Township, Mich., by driving a snowmobile through the glass door. Police followed the vehicle's tracks in the snow and found him and the snowmobile in a ditch about a half-mile away.