But we were suffering on the inside, your honor

A British couple claimed to be ill for weeks from food poisoning after eating and drinking during a 10-day stay at a vacation resort in Benidorm, Spain, and sued for thousands in compensation. Alas, they made the mistake of posting pictures of themselves them smiling and happy in their room and swimming in the pool. A judge ordered them to pay the holiday operator $20,000 and called them “fundamentally dishonest.”

JUST BRING ME THE CHECK, OFFICER ... Police arrested a man who had passed out drunk in a supermarket aisle in Parsippany, N.J., with a half-eaten chicken breast lying on his chest.

WAIT, YOU’RE STILL ARRESTING ME!? ... Police questioned a man on the street in Forest Grove, Ore., but since he had a warrant out for his arrest, he gave them a phony name. Alas, the man with the name he gave them also had a warrant for his arrest.

WELCOME BACK, DIRTBAG! ... KA-POW! ... After his food truck was robbed in the Algiers Point neighborhood of New Orleans, the proprietor went out and bought a gun. A week later, and much to his surprise, the same robber came back. The guy opened fire but missed. The robber ran away.

BUT WHY CAN’T WE PUT IT UP ON THE REFRIGERATOR, MOMMY? ... A woman got very drunk on a girls' night with the other school mothers at a pub in Kilmarnock, Scotland, went home and passed out on her bed. The next morning, her 7-year old saw her, and decided to immortalize the moment in her art class at school. She drew a picture of mom in repose complete with barf bucket by her head.

IS IT ME OR IS IT HOT IN HERE? ... A woman broke into a car at a dealership in Marion County, Fla., to sleep and accidentally set the vehicle on fire with a cigarette.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, MATE ... A man was stabbed in a bar fight in the Beerwah Hotel on Australia's Sunshine Coast. With the knife still sticking out of his back, he ordered another pint before going to the hospital.

YOU CAN GET TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT YOUR DATE ... A nightclub in Stockholm, Sweden, is offering free admission to anyone who strips naked and leaves their clothes in the cloakroom. There was a full house on opening night.

I’D RATHER YOU DIDN’T SEARCH THE VEHICLE, OFFICER ... A man led police on a 77-mile chase on Interstate 81 in Dauphin County, Pa., because he had 369 cartons of untaxed and unstamped cigarettes worth an estimated $40,000 in the vehicle. Spike strips put an end to this one.

DOES THE PLACE SMELL DIFFERENT TO YOU? ... A woman who rented out her home in Wavertree, England, while she went on a round-the-world trip with her boyfriend returned to find that criminals had turned the interior of her house into a massive marijuana farm.

I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE … CRASH! ... A drunk woman driving home from a bar in Hoboken, N.J., smashed into two parked cars, so she let her passenger drive. That woman was also drunk, and she smashed into two more parked cars.