The real problem? Zuck’s a millennial
What is Mark Zuckerberg? An evil media genius plotting to control the interwebs? A naive techie who fell victim to social forces he unleashed but cannot control?
No. What we’ve learned from his testimony before Congress is that Facebook’s founder and CEO is first, last and always ... a millennial.
Zuckerberg’s simultaneously arrogant and obsequious performance embodied everything decent Americans hate about “Generation Cupcake.” He’s sorry, but he’s not sure he’s actually done anything wrong. He wants us all to just get along — as long as he can continue to rake in his billions. And most of all, Grandpa, he wants you to know that he “gets” the tech, and you old fogeys don’t.
You know, because “ever since I started Facebook in my dorm room ...”
Every one of the 2,143 times he said that in his congressional testimony, I wanted to punch him in his “Woody from Toy Story II” face.
Which, if I posted that on my Facebook page (Facebook.com/MichaelGraham Show) would likely get me banned. Or declared “a danger to the community” like Diamond and Silk.
I’m no fan of D&S. In my opinion, the menu reads “Diamond and Silk” or “News Channel” — pick one.
But I would never censor them the way Facebook has, any more than I would censor Massachusetts’ own Turtleboy Sports — a vulgar, insulting (and often hilarious) media outlet that, when it’s not posting reprehensible content I find completely offensive, is breaking news like the Troopergate story.
Turtleboy is currently shut down on Facebook for posting the following about Parkland High student activist David Hogg yesterday:
“If he wasted his tim (sic) getting a Gender Studies degree it would be a real crime. Hate him or love him, he’s an idiot if he doesn’t spend all his time monetizing the platform he’s created by taking a tragedy and making it all about him.”
Agree? Disagree? Either way — who cares? It’s an opinion on a Facebook page. Don’t like it — Don’t. Go. To. That. Page.
That’s the grown-up answer. “Sticks and stones,” etc. The millennial answer? “Help! He said ‘sticks!’”
Turtleboy Sports, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck, various Catholic organizations — all have been banned or suppressed on Facebook because it’s Facebook’s job, according to Zuckerberg’s testimony, “to protect users from anything that makes people feel unsafe.”
How millennial is that? You can practically hear the crowd waving their participation trophies in agreement.
Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) hinted at the generational problem during his questioning of Zuck, referencing a 2015 Pew poll finding that 40 percent of millennials believe “the government should be able to prevent people publicly making statements that are offensive to minority groups.”
What’s “offensive”? Who’s a “minority”? Millennials like Zuckerberg are happy to leave that to the government — though I’m pretty sure I’m looking at 10 years’ hard labor for giving Elizabeth Warren the nickname “Fauxcahontas.”
It’s true that a majority of millennials told pollsters they still support free speech. But that 40 percent number stands in dark contrast to both other generations (only 24 percent of boomers would ban “offensive” speech) and to the fundamental premise of America.
For you millennials who’ve forgotten, it’s called “freedom.”
Zuckerberg doesn’t want to be “free.” He’s practically begging Congress to regulate him, because a) he thinks they’re idiots and have no clue how to do it (he’s right); and b) all he really cares about is money and power, but he wants to fool us all into thinking he’s just “connecting people to create a better world.”
Sorry, T-Shirt Boy — we’re not buyin’ it.
In fact, even mushheaded millennials are seeing through it. In the latest poll of voters under 30 by the Harvard Institute of Politics, far fewer trust Facebook “all or most of the time” (27 percent) as trust Amazon and Google (45 percent). Another 23 percent said they “never trust Facebook” — and this poll was taken before the Cambridge Analytica scandal.
Mark Zuckerberg is the George Lucas of social media. He had one brilliant idea, and now he’s going to spend the rest of his life trying to ruin it.