I know how to par-taay!
An Australian woman who fought for an inheritance from her estranged father's estate walked away with $220,000, of which she spent $150,000 on methamphetamine, and the remaining $70,000 on alcohol, clothes and a car which she later crashed. The money lasted less than a year.
UH, SIR, WE’VE BEEN LOOKING AT YOUR BROWSING HISTORY … A man was sentenced to 10 years in federal prison for a string of armed robberies in Anchorage, Alaska, after it was revealed that he Googled “how to rob banks” on his smartphone.
MIND IF I SIT HERE, MR. PRIME MINISTER? …A man who masterminded the theft of 600 computers in Iceland escaped from one of the nation's minimum-security prisons and fled to Sweden aboard a plane that was also carrying Iceland's prime minister.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU CAN’T STAY HERE … A man set up camp inside the back doorway of the police station in Forest Grove, Ore. Officers instructed him to move along.
WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN, BUB?
… Told by a convenience store clerk in Sebastian, Fla., that she was not allowed to sell him alcohol at 2:30 a.m., a man asked her, “What would happen if I stole some beer?” He then proceeded to steal two cases of it; she called 911 and he wound up in the back of a patrol car in short order.
COME AND GET US, COPPER! … Four baboons escaped from the Texas Biomedical Research Institute by rolling a 55-gallon drum up to a wall of their open-air enclosure and then climbing over. They were rounded up in about 30 minutes.
PEEK-A-BOO! … Security camera footage showed a burglar entering a GameStop store in St. Marys, Ga., who tried to conceal his face with a piece of clear plastic, which you can see right through.
SHE’S BAAAACK! … After signing herself out from a drug and alcohol rehab center in Shamokin Dam, Pa., a woman immediately stole a pickup truck and led police on a chase in which speeds exceeded 100 miles an hour.
WELL, HELLO THERE MR. NEXT-OF-KIN … A man who had escaped from an Oklahoma prison 40 years ago was finally nabbed in Houston when his mother died and he put the alias he had been living under and city of residence in her obituary.
YOU DON’T LOOK SO TOUGH … WHAM! … A man who attacked a guy on the street in West Palm Beach, Fla., immediately discovered that his “victim” was a former mixed martial arts fighter. This one didn't last long.
I’M PRETTIER THAN YOU! NO, I AM! … Three drunken lap dance ladies got into a major brawl at 30,000 feet on a Gatwick to Tenerife flight. A witness said, “No one expected it to happen. They were friends and cuddling one minute and then getting louder and drinking Grey Goose vodka the next.” Then began the screaming, the swearing and the pulling of hair.
NEXT TIME, USE A CAR … A man who robbed a bank in Great Falls, Mont., fled the scene on a skateboard. He was apprehended in a matter of minutes.