Boston Herald

Soon this guy will be posing for mugshots

- Mike PINGREE

A man who was stealing a package from the front porch of a home in Tracy, Calif., noticed a surveillan­ce camera recording his every move. He tried to pry it off the wall to no avail, getting even closer to the camera. Now police have some excellent pictures of his face.

COMFY, ARE WE? … Police pulled over a pickup truck in Thunder Bay, Ontario, and found that the vehicle had no seats, so the driver was sitting on a folding lawn chair.

SOME FRIEND YOU TURNED OUT TO BE …A woman was ordered to submit a urine sample to test for drugs in St. Clairsvill­e, Ohio. Since she was a drug user and knew she would fail, she asked a friend for some of her urine. Alas, the borrowed sample tested positive for drugs.

LET’S LET THE VOTERS BE THE JUDGE OF THAT … A man who was arrested for soliciting a prostitute told Pennsylvan­ia state police that he was “selfemploy­ed.” When officers noted that he is the mayor of Bloomsburg, he replied, “For now.”

OK, I WAS THERE, OFFICER, BUT I DIDN’T DO IT … A man who robbed a convenienc­e store in Alton, Ill., had the bright idea of going to the police station to report that he had only witnessed the crime. It all fell apart when investigat­ing officers, who had seen him on surveillan­ce video, showed up at the station.

SHOW ME YOUR EVIDENCE! … OH, NEVER MIND … In an effort to avoid parking tickets, a woman in Suzhou, China, would leave a fake ticket on her windshield to fool police. She was caught when she parked next to an undercover cop car equipped with a dashcam, which recorded her doing it.

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHO­OD … Bad weather in the wilderness area called the Great Orme in North Wales has forced 110 long-haired Kashmiri goats that live there to descend on the quiet seaside resort town of Llandudno. They are causing quite the commotion, with some of the males butting heads, and others interferin­g with traffic and feasting on the residents' gardens.

I’VE HAD ENOUGH! … SMACK! … Annoyed that his boyfriend was continuall­y playing with a Big Mouth Billy Bass, the novelty singing fish, his domestic partner tossed it into the trash outside their Sebastian, Fla., home. In response, the other guy retrieved it and smacked him on the head with it, resulting in police involvemen­t.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL SPIDER-MAN, LADY … A woman called the police emergency number in Evart, Mich., and asked for help in killing a spider. She was informed that this was not a police matter.

I JUST NEEDED TO GET OUT … A man, who was under house arrest in Englewood, Fla., removed his ankle bracelet and stole a boat from a nearby marina. He would have gotten away with it, but ran the vessel aground on a sandbar and had to be rescued by police.

LOOK OUT, SIR! … THUMP! … After a lengthy police pursuit in Mount Vernon, Va., a drunken driver with a revoked license pulled over and got out of his vehicle, but it was still moving forward and hit him. He survived.

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