Bill’s making America fit again
Belichick among Trump’s picks for sports council
The Hoodie is headed for the White House.
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick has been named to President Trump’s Council on Sports, Fitness and Nutrition. This makes Belichick 328th in line for the Oval Office — right behind Kanye West.
There’s a lot to digest in any sentence that includes the words “President Trump,” “Fitness” and “Nutrition.” One can’t expect our husky commander in chief to accept any advice given by this group — which includes Russian infiltrators like Herschel Walker, golfer Natalie Gulbis, Olympic beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor, retired Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera and TV’s Dr. Oz.
The council’s basic task is to encourage kids to become more active, athletic and take up sports.
In 2018, this sort of outrageous initiative will no doubt trigger an onslaught of criticism, derision and rage. Kids competing against each other while keeping score is so 20th century. Children should be placed in gluten-free Bubble Wrap and engage in nongender-specific activities where success is measured in smiles. Belichick’s inclusion in Trump’s primitive endeavor (something done in one way or another since 1956) will only intensify the hatred from New York, Bristol and 53 State Street. I’ll save you time and give you their party line: “Trump and Belichick are perfect for each other because they both cheat.” And those phantom Patriots fans in Newton, Sudbury, Cambridge, Northampton and the Vineyard are again left in soul-churning turmoil over whether or not to give up allegiance to their local NFL team.
Does this nonexistent mob stick with the Patriots, especially after Robert Kraft gave up the team’s plane so Parkland High School students could march in Washington for gun control? Or do these imaginary folk walk, as they did back in 2015 after a “Make America Great Again” hat was spotted in Tom Brady’s locker and TB12 refused to condemn Trump and all his descendants. What’s a good Moonbat to do? Belichick and Trump are longtime pals. Belichick wrote a letter of support that Trump read during an infamous election eve campaign stop in Manchester, N.H., back in 2016. It was during that same event where Trump offered the most lopsided swap in New England history: “I’ll make you a deal: You can have Pocahontas, I’ll take Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.”
Not even Dave Dombrowski could screw up that trade.
Brady and Belichick have since been walking back any political association with Trump since those 13 Facebook trolls stole the presidency from Hillary Clinton.
When word leaked about a conversation between Trump and Belichick this week, the predictable precincts fumed because Trump was “wasting the nation’s time” talking with Belichick. Now we know why.
In a statement, Belichick tried to make it clear this his decision to join the president’s sports council was not a political declaration.
“The physical fitness of children in our country is an apolitical issue that is extremely important to our future. … I was humbled to be asked and honored to accept, as I would have done for any administration.” Spoken like a true politician. And 2020 is just around the corner.