After a while, a man just feels like moving on
A man whose wife reported him missing told federal authorities that he was abducted and drugged by a motorcycle gang when he was finally located by the side of a road in Grafton, Va., after a massive search operation. He also said that the gang members took him to a business he owned and robbed the safe. Surveillance footage debunked this, and his story fell apart. He finally admitted that he had run off to join his mistress and start a new life.
A MOTHER’S DAY TO REMEMBER … A father and son in Lakeland, Fla., got into an argument on Mother's Day when the son demanded that he be allowed to have more alcohol and pushed his fist against his father's face. As the lad was being arrested, his mother shoved his father against a counter, and said, “How's this for domestic violence!?” The cops arrested her, too.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT WAS ME? … A man who left multiple voicemails threatening to blow up a mosque in Pembroke Pines, Fla., was caught when police saw his name on caller ID.
WHEW! TRAGEDY AVERTED … A torrential thunderstorm toppled a centuriesold tree that landed on a couple's garage in Reston Va. Inside the structure was a spare refrigerator which contained their “good beer.” Asked how they coped with the loss, the wife said, “We drank whiskey instead.”
BUT HE MIGHT BEAT THE ‘ELUDING’ RAP … A man fleeing the police in Daytona Beach, Fla., crashed into another vehicle, a power pole, a fence and a barber shop then jumped out of his pickup truck and made a run for it. The cops caught him shortly afterward when his pants fell to his ankles. He was charged with, among other things, “fleeing and eluding.”
MOM, DAD? WHAT’S THE LOCKSMITH DOING HERE? … A couple in Camillus, N.Y., went to court to evict their 30-year-old son from their residence. The process has been ongoing for about three months during which the father sent his son a letter saying, “After a discussion with your Mother, we have decided that you must leave this house immediately.” Thus far, the lad has refused to comply.
OH, SHOULD I NOT HAVE DONE THAT? … A man was arrested for using his cellphone to take upskirt photos of unsuspecting women inside the Oklahoma City Walmart. He said that his attorney told him that it is “perfectly legal” to do so in a public place. An officer said, “It was explained to him clearly that it's not.”
BY THE BEARD OF ODIN, I SHALL SMITE THEE! … After county welfare took custody of her child, a woman threatened an Indiana social worker with a “Viking-style sword.”
PROBLEM SOLVED …A woman in Kyrkhult, Sweden, had the names of her two children tattooed on her arm, but the artist misspelled one of the names. When she was told that the removal would require several painful procedures, she just changed the name of her son.