Depression, despair lurk beneath surface
It is hard to imagine the pain someone must be experiencing in order to end their own life. Anthony Bourdain appeared the epitome of a man relishing his place in the world. He enjoyed people, places, food and drink. He’d had his struggles with drugs and alcohol and seemed to have beaten back those demons.
Bourdain was found dead of an apparent suicide yesterday in his hotel room in France. He was 61. According to CNN, Bourdain was in Strasbourg filming an upcoming segment in his TV series “Parts Unknown.”
He seemed to have it all. So did Kate Spade.
She was 55 years old and a super-successful businesswoman. Spade had a 13-year-old daughter, lots of money and friends around the world.
But for some reason, she committed suicide Tuesday in her Park Avenue apartment.
Her husband, Andy, said she had suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. He said she “sounded happy” the night before her death.
It is beyond chilling that so many affected with mental illness can go through the day, seemingly as ordinary as ever and then succumb to dark thoughts. What must be happening in the mind that hanging oneself is preferable to every other action?
Our hearts break for those in the throes of depression. To the outsider, it seems like an invisible jail comprised of pain and despair.
We must listen to those who have suffered and continue to suffer to understand.
Boston Herald health reporter Lindsay Kalter has not only reported on mental health issues but has suffered from depression. She went public with her experience last fall and joined Herald Radio to talk about it.
“It’s all-consuming. You have this all-consuming sense of worthlessness and helplessness,” Kalter said, “It’s similar to physical pain in that it makes you bedridden and you can’t really do anything. You don’t feel like doing anything. You don’t want to be around anybody and it doesn’t matter how much the people around you try to lift you up.”
She explained that it didn’t just occupy her thoughts, it completely enveloped her. “Depression swallows you up. After you’re consumed by depression, it’s really the depression that’s in charge. It’s really the depression that’s carrying you around.”
Depression in Lindsay’s case took work to be kept at bay. “It’s not something that just stays away on its own,” she explained. “It’ll come on rather suddenly, this feeling of lowness and darkness, and it doesn’t really matter what else is going on in my life. Even if I have things to be thankful for and happy about, it operates in a vacuum.”
During Lindsay’s battle with the disease last year she eventually came to a critical decision. “I knew that if I let myself slide any further, I wouldn’t be able to make it out. I figured the choices were either surrender and let it consume me and that’s that, or completely go outside of my comfort zone and try something new that may or may not work.”
Lindsay made her move. “I thought, what do I have to lose at this point.”
She sought help at McLean Hospital. Things got better.
When despair and hopelessness all but overcame Lindsay, she found the strength to get help.
We are certainly thankful she did but also sorrowful for those who were not able to get through the darkness. We need to talk to each other and ask questions as it’s clear that for many, the pain is easy to hide but hard to live with.
Lindsay Kalter is doing well and she urges those battling depression to get the help they need. “I let myself get to a very dark place before I took action, and finally seeking help saved my life. I still have my downs and it takes constant effort to get past them, but I’ve learned depression is something that — with the right tools — can be managed. It’s worth the work.”