Mom’s behavior calls for modified parenting plan
QMy ex and I divorced because she has a hereditary degenerative brain disorder. Her family kept the situation quiet despite many of them suffering from the same illness. No one talked, and worse, no one got help. I could not live like that any longer. My ex and I now share custody equally of our 8- and 10-year-old children.
My kids recently shared some disturbing stories. Apparently my ex recently lost her pharmacy license as a result of some incidents at work. The kids say she isn’t working any more because she has no license. They told me she purchased a new car because she wrecked the old one. I also learned my kids are now cooking for themselves and my ex whenever she doesn’t take them out for meals.
At what point should I do
something and what do I do? My kids love their mom, and I don’t want to take them away, but I am concerned for their safety and worried they are losing out on their childhoods.
Aof child-related You grounds the parenting have for provisions just a plan. modification described Because are always merely allege modifiable, that the you schedule can is no longer in your children’s best interests. No doubt you do not have all of the information. Filing the complaint gives you the right to ask for relevant information.
Once she is served, ask for her financial statement. She will have to disclose her income and last year’s W-2. You will see she is not working, or at least not at the prior capacity, and then ask questions about why. It may be she failed to take the steps to keep up her license or maybe there is something more ominous. Either way, you need to know because her level of functioning at work may reflect on her functioning at home. Going this route protects your children’s confidences.
You should also subpoena her auto insurance provider for records of her accidents since the divorce. Ask her interrogatories so you can determine who has been in the car with her during each accident and the circumstances of the accidents.
As for the children cooking, ask for a more traditional parenting plan with the kids spending every other weekend with mom and a dinner or two during the week. This puts you in control of feeding and driving them most of the time. The end result — they are safer and get to continue to be children.
Try offering to keep the existing child support in exchange for the new parenting plan. If she needs the money, she just may bite. Wendy O. Hickey has since 1994 been involved in and since 2003 been a trial lawyer who concentrates her practice on national and international family law. Any legal advice in this column is general in nature, and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Send questions to dearwendy@bostonherald.com.