I believe this fellow is up to no good, officer
Police stopped a man who was attempting to rob a CVS store in Hollywood, Fla. Employees immediately became suspicious when he walked into the place wearing a ski mask on his head and socks on his hands, so they called the cops.
THAT’S THE DUDE RIGHT THERE, MAN ... A judge in Missoula County, Mont., ordered a new trial for a man convicted of methamphetamine possession because the main witness against him was high on meth when he testified.
IT’S OK, I’M FEELING BETTER NOW ... A man faked a heart attack to get an ambulance to give him a ride to the cafeteria in a hospital in Corbin, Ky. When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, he jumped out and casually walked in and grabbed something to eat.
IS YOUR TRAY TABLE IN THE UPRIGHT POSITION OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME? ... A heavily intoxicated woman on a flight from Luton, England, to Ibiza, bared her breasts and started giving lap dances to the male passengers. Police escorted her and some of her friends off the plane in Spain and arrested her for “behaving in a disruptive manner.”
BUT DOESN’T THE DEVIL LIKE FIRE? ... A woman was arrested for setting the couch on fire in her trailer in Denham Springs, La. She said she did it to “get the devil out,” because she thought the couch was possessed.
I THINK WE MAY HAVE TROUBLE SELLING THESE
... Thieves broke into a shoe store in Roanoke, Va., and stole — among other things — footwear that had been put on display. But the owner typically keeps only right shoes on display, putting their other halves behind the counter. So the thieves wound up with 13 right shoes and no lefts.
LET ME HANDLE THIS … WHAM! ... A guy, who must have weighed 300 pounds, walked out of a supermarket in Santa Ana, Calif., with items he did not pay for, and started loading the goods into his car. When employees confronted him in the parking lot, he moved aggressively toward them, causing them to scatter. But one brave bystander walked up to him, launched one punch, and dropped him like a bad habit.
THANK YOU, COME AGAIN … PLEASE, COME AGAIN! ... A tall, beautiful, blonde woman — naked, except for a pair of high heels — walked casually into a gas station in Krasnodar, Russia, and purchased a bottle of beer. A male companion followed her in, recording her on his mobile phone. The cashier seemed unfazed as he served the lady before the couple left and drove away. There was speculation that the woman had lost a bet.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? ... A Gresham, Ore., brewing company has applied for a liquor license for a vacant building located right next door to a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. The application is under review.
YOU WANT TO DO WHAT!? ... A woman in West Fargo, N.D., got a new cellphone number for her family only to discover that the number used to belong to an escort when she received a flood of explicit text messages soliciting sex.