Disciple drama
Patricia, Belichick share recent troubles
In Matt Patricia’s defense, he’s got none!
And that’s with two teams, one being his past Patriots, the other his present Detroit Lions.
As Patricia continues his journey through the past this season — last week against Jimmy G, this week against Bill Belichick — the ex-Patriots defensive coordinator’s reputation as a defensive guru is taking a big-time smacking. His Lions defense basically stinks, and the one he left to Bill may be even worse (though, Belichick does deserve equal billing there).
Can’t you imagine the pregame, midfield conversation between the soonto-be warring buddies. It may go like this: “Matt. You left me nothing on defense,” will cry Bill. “No linebackers, half a defensive line, barely no secondary. No one can even tackle a tackling dummy!”
“Oh, woe is you,” smirks Patricia. “We gave up 48 to the Jets. 48! Garoppolo hung 30 on us. I’m beginning to think these guys here don’t like the Patriot Way or me — even if they haven’t won anything in 61 years and never been to a Super Bowl.”
“Well, the Super Bowl isn’t always pleasant,” snaps Bill. “I think you remember the last one.”
Any Matt and Bill pleasantries are not happening. The frustrations of the longtime cohorts are evident, though when Bill tugs on Matt’s beard, a smile did crease each’s lips.
“Just keep feeding them the ‘we gotta coach better’ line,” recommends Bill, two hands now on Matt’s shoulders, which are slumped lower than expectations to stop a third-and-8.
Matt then shrugs Bill’s hands off.
“I wished I pulled a McDaniels and came back to Foxboro,” he will grouse. “You did it to the Jets, Josh did it to the Colts. Archenemies both. I didn’t have the guts to do it to these cub Lions. They haven’t hurt anyone in years.”
The pals then do shake hands.
“I may not want to do that after the game,” cracks Bill. “Mangini never lets me forget it.”
Into the Lions den:
Patriots (-61⁄2) at Detroit — Josh Gordon catches left, Josh Gordon catches right, Josh Gordon catches one deep and keeps on going out of the stadium never to be seen again. Enough, though, to help. Pats, 32-20. Ahh, Autumn winds:
Indianapolis at Philadelphia (-61⁄2) — Eagles ace Carson Wentz is back. Nick Foles will wear his ring and remember the good old days. Eagles, 30-16.
Cincinnati at Carolina (-3) — How ’bout them Bengals, baby! 2-0! Now revert back to your usual form. Panthers, 27-12.
Tennessee at Jacksonville (off) — The Jags will imagine Brady & Co. are still on their field and let the pummeling continue. Jaguars, 27-6.
New Orleans at Atlanta (-3) — Booed out of New Orleans, the Saints’ stink follows them to Hot ’Lanta.
Falcons, 26-18.
Denver at Baltimore (-5) — Just picking the Ravens. Who wants the Broncos at 3-0? Ravens, 19-13.
NY Giants at Houston (-6) — Such high expectations for both, such low realizations to realize. Texans, 23-20.
Oakland at Miami (-3) —
The new kings of the AFC East roll onward and upward. Dolphins, 24-16.
Green Bay (-3) at Washington — How bad were the Redskins last week? So bad their fans in D.C. were shouting ‘Fake team!’ Packers, 28-17.
Buffalo at Minnesota (-161⁄2) — How did these Bills make the playoffs last year? Vikings, 31-7.
San Francisco at Kansas City (-61⁄2)— Hey, Jimmy G and Patrick Mahomes. Last man with the ball wins.
49ers, 49-48.
LA Chargers at LA Rams (-7) — Magic Mountain passes for the year at Disneyland to the winner.
Rams, 27-24.
Chicago (-51⁄2) at Arizona — Six points in two losses for the Cards. Make it three losses. Bears, 16-0.
Dallas at Seattle (-11⁄2) —
The Seahawks haven’t fallen from all prominence, but they are nearing disintegration. Cowboys, 20-17.
Pittsburgh (-1) at Tampa Bay — It’s all up to you, Bucs, to keep these Steelers whining. Buccaneers, 31-21. Last week: 8-7-0 Overall: 15-15-1