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A man escaped from a minimum-security prison in Wartburg, Tenn., and then, a few days later, tried to sneak back in with illicit items — drugs, cellphones and tobacco — to sell on the prison's black market.

ONE FOR THE ROAD, OFFICER ... Lincoln, Neb., police picked up a heavily intoxicated man who was staggering to his brother's house after midnight, and offered to give him a ride. While in the back seat of the cruiser, the guy cracked open a can of Hurricane Malt Liquor.

THE LAD SEEMS A BIT IMPULSIVE ... A 23-year-old man, who was about to miss his flight from Dublin to Amsterdam, ran down the runway after the plane with his suitcase under his arm in an effort to get it to stop. As he left the court after being charged, he shouted abuse at waiting journalists and lowered his pants, exposing his backside.

I THINK WE HAVE OUR SUSPECT ... A man stole credit cards and IDs from eight cars parked in an Acworth, Ga., neighborhood. Police came to investigate, and found him sound asleep in one of the cars.

CAN I SEE YOUR ROOM KEY, BUB? ... A man strolled into the Holiday Inn Express in Dalton, Ga., and helped himself to the free breakfast, which is reserved for guests. When he started wandering the halls and was confronted by a hotel employee, he explained that he was “just checking how easy it is to get into hotels and get free stuff.”

YOU MEAN THE SPIRITS LIED TO ME!? ... A student reported to administrators that a shooting would take place in his Altoona, Pa., high school last Wednesday. It did not. Officials later learned that the student's claim was based on a prediction by a Ouija board.

SHOULDN’T YOU KEEP THEM WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES? ... A 72-year-old woman was unable to locate her false teeth after she left them in her Peoria, Ill., apartment to go to the store. She searched for them with family members for 10 days without success before reporting them stolen. Officers found no sign of forced entry. The teeth are still missing.

A COINCIDENCE, MA’AM? ... A woman reported that she found a needle in her French fries at a McDonald's in Whanganui, New Zealand. Police came to her home, where they found a packet of 20 needles with one of them missing. Officers are said to be very suspicious.

YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED, LADY ... A woman flagged down police in Shippensburg, Pa., because she was upset that someone had tried to stop her from driving home, claiming she was drunk with children in her car. Officers arrested her, because she was drunk with children in her car.

THE FRIENDSHIP HAS HIT A ROUGH SPOT ... A 71-year-old man got into a spirited argument in his Greenwood, Ind., home with a friend of 50 years over a Bruno Mars song. Finally, he pulled a gun and hit his buddy in the face with it.

ARE YOU DECENT? ... A man was arrested for breaking into a home in Memphis, Tenn., when police found him in there about to take a bath.