Let’s see what this truck can do, baby!

Someone crashed his Ford Super Duty truck through the locked front gate of a small airport in Weatherford, Okla., roared down to the taxiway, hit an embankment and launched into the air for about 50 feet. He then headed back down the taxiway, and crashed through another fence and into an empty field. During the rampage, he lost his headlights and most of the truck’s front end, which he left behind along with five unopened cans of Coors Light and one of Michelob Ultra Cactus Lime. OK BESSIE, COME WITH US ... A woman dressed as a cow was arrested for shoplifting at the Walmart in Pine Bluff, Ark. BUT NOBODY SAYS ‘NO’ TO ME! ... A young man in China asked a woman he had been dating to meet him in a crowded square where—asafilmcrew recorded her reaction — he set off fireworks, presented her with an orange Lamborghini and a large bouquet of roses, and asked her to marry him. She said, “No.” The man couldn’t believe this, yelling incredulously, “But I have money!” She was not impressed. WHO? ME? ... A woman fell asleep on a packed commuter train in Japan, ultimately resting her head on the shoulder of a businessman seated next to her. The guy opened up his briefcase, took out his mobile phone, and tapped her on the forehead with it. She woke up and looked around as he put back the phoneandactedasif nothing happened. THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN SCANDINAVIA ... A truck driver on a road near the island of Tjorn, Sweden, was forced to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting an elk, causing his cargo of herring to spill out of the back and cover a 100-yard stretch of road. BUT I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL ... A man invited three young ladies to his hotel room in theFrenchQuarterofNew Orleans at 3 o’clock in the morning. Once inside they grabbed his cash and a black Ruger 9 mm semiautomatic pistol and disappeared into the night. I REALLY DO HAVE THINGS TOSAY ... Police said a man got drunk and burned his Perryopolis, Pa., mobile home to the ground. The guy said he didn’t do it, but a neighbor said she saw him pouring gas on the place before it burst into flames. And just before the fire, he was observed stumbling around the neighborhood complaining about how no one listened to him. JUST LET MOMMY REST, DEAR ... A woman took her 5-year-old son to the movies in Cobb County, Ga., where she proceeded to drink booze from the kid’s sippy cup. She became so intoxicated, she was “unable to walk, talk or care” for the child, and had to be taken to the hospital instead of jail. THAT WILL TEACH THEM THAT BULLYING IS JUST WRONG ... A 46-year-old woman went to Cambridge Elementary School, in Cocoa, Fla., and threw a mixture of salt and cayenne pepper into the faces of two girls, ages 8 and 11, because she said that they had bullied her daughter.