Dad feels ex too lax with son’s schooling

My ex-wife and I have a 50/50 parent plan. Our son spends Monday and Tuesday with her, Wednesday and Thursday with me and we rotate every other weekend. This year has been a big transition for him because he is now in middle school. It is hard work. Our drastically different parenting styles are becoming a huge problem. So far this year, our son has missed 13 days of school. All but one of those days came when my ex was in charge. If he doesn’t do his homework, he fakes illness and she lets him stay home and play video games. She lets him play video games every night, too, instead of making sure his homework is finished. There is no accountability. I, on the other hand, only allow video games on weekends and do homework with him during the week. We have been called to the principal’s office for a meeting next week because of all the absences. What should I expect and how can I get her to enforce rules and make him go to school? You can expect the school will eventually involve the Department of Children and Families if your son’s attendance does not improve. If that happens, DCF may file a Child in Need of Services petition in juvenile court, looking to intervene in your family to ensure your son goes to school. These measures can be anything from evaluations to various forms of therapy to looking to change custody. You have a few options. You can sit back and let it play out. Meet with the principal and support the idea of involving DCF. This is a good option if your son is particularly close to his mother and you don’t want to be the bad guy by taking her to court to change the parenting plan. Let DCF file the petition and try to solve the problem for you. They can be the bad guy and you can just cooperate as a concerned parent. The problem: This can be a slow process and your son may fall far behind if he doesn’t go to school and do his work. If you want to be more proactive, file a complaint for modification with a motion for temporary orders. Ask the judge to change the parenting plan on a temporary basis so you have your son on school nights to ensure his homework is done and that he goes to school the following day. The downside to this move is you will be seen as the bad guy, taking your son away from his mom and his video games. The judge is likely to see the pattern of your son skipping school and homework when with his mom and make the switch until mom can prove she can act in his best interest and get him educated. Wendy O. Hickey has since 1994 been involved in and since 2003 been a trial lawyer who concentrates her practice on national and international family law. Any legal advice in this column is general in nature, and does not establish a lawyer-client relationship. Send questions to dearwendy@bostonherald.com.