We like to party like the next guy, sir, but …
A 65-year old man pulled his boat up to the upscale Waterfront restaurant on the Detroit River in Wyandotte, Mich., where he disembarked along with six “bikini-clad women, all half his age.” They were refused service because all of them were drunk, but the man hurled insults and threats, and only when the cops showed up did they take off on the boat with the man waving his middle finger at the officers. Patrol officers on a County Marine detail caught up with them at the Ambassador Bridge.
ASK YOUR FATHER … Kandi’s Gentlemen’s Club posted a sign advertising for strippers along a busy highway in Omaha, Neb., saying, “Fully nude girls! Stay at home moms earn extra cash!” The sign has caused some local controversy. One 8-year-old boy asked his mother, “Why would moms go be naked? Why do they want naked moms?”
YOU LOOKIN’ FOR ME, COWBOY? … A longhorn steer being led through downtown Colorado Springs on a cattle drive got loose and ran into a building. Cowboys on horseback waited outside and captured the animal when it came out.
NOW, THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWER, MA’AM …Adrunken driver pulled her car into the drive-thru lane of a fast food restaurant in Vaughan, Ontario, and refused to move her vehicle. When the cops arrived, the car was still running, and she was still behind the wheel, but said, “I wasn’t driving, I was just ordering some food.” The police officer then asked her how she got there.
HOW WAS YOUR ‘BUSINESS
TRIP,’ DEAR? … A man went on the website Reddit to report that while his wife of 14 months was out of town on business he went on the dating app, Tinder, “out of boredom.” He was quite surprised to find that she had posted a profile there along with a picture of herself with him cut out of it. He said they don’t have an “open relationship agreement or anything of that nature,” and felt that they are “quite happily married.”
OK, LET’S SEE WHAT WE’VE GOT … AIEEEE! … Someone stole a package off the front porch of a home in Spartanburg, S.C. It contained nine tarantulas.
FINISHED, SIR? OK, TIME TO GO … When police raided his home in Queensland, Australia, a 75-year-old drug dealer calmly sat finishing his breakfast as the cops searched the place. They found drugs and a lot of money and arrested him.
YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET … A man drove up to a liquor store in Gibsonton, Fla., and blocked the entrance, demanding to speak to the manager. When the cops came and started talking to him, he suddenly accelerated the vehicle, smashing through the glass door, striking several customers and forcing others to jump out of the way to avoid being run over.
YOU’RE WHERE!? … Two men went into a large shipping container in the port of Antwerp, Belgium, to retrieve the hundreds of kilos of cocaine inside. But they got trapped inside in the current European heat wave, and they got so hot they were forced to call the cops to get them out.