Ex controls kids’ schedules
Last time we went to court, my ex “won” the right to have the final say in scheduling activities for our two kids because she complained that I didn’t respond quickly enough to her requests. The judge did not seem to think it was unreasonable for her to send me an emaIl on a Tuesday saying the sign-up deadline was 5 p.m. on a Wednesday and expecting me to respond in less than 24 hours.
Since that ruling two years ago, my ex has enrolled each of them in team gymnastics and club soccer.
The good news is they are twins so they can be on the same teams. However, she has effectively scheduled them every Tuesday and Thursday nights (my nights to have dinner with them), meaning I drive them to practice for 6 to 8 p.m., then have to figure out how to feed them and get them back to her at 8:30 p.m.
Every other weekend when they are with me is now spent at gymnastics practice and/or meets and soccer games. We used to go away many weekends for hiking trips or beach trips or out on my friends’ boats and can’t do any of that anymore. What can I do?
Send her an email stating your objection to her scheduling things on all of your time. If they have a night or two off during the week, offer to trade weeknights so you have at least one free night to actually have dinner and catch up with them.
When she ignores your email or flat-out declines — expect either to be her approach — you should file a complaint for modification. You need to allege a change in circumstances since the last time you were in court. Your change will be that your ex, given this new power the court has foisted upon her, has completely scheduled your parenting time over your objection. Make clear to the judge the relief you are seeking is not to completely deprive the kids of things they presumably enjoy but to give you back some choices and the ability to do things you and the kids previously enjoyed together.
Given that it is already August, you likely lost out for this year as sign-ups for the fall activities typically happen in the prior spring. But if you start the process now, you should recover some say in your parenting come next fall. In the meantime, the judge may temporarily swap weeknights for you, so be sure to ask.