Getting rid of stuff leads to tough decisions

Advice to people who have turned 50, are about to turn 50 or plan to turn 50: Get rid of your stuff.

We have been in the throes of moving with the intent of downsizing. It left us physically exhausted, mentally deranged and psychologically scarred, conditions for which we quite correctly blame each other.

It is not the heavy lifting that gets you. Nor is it the twisted logistics, nor even the taking of before and after inventory.

It is the stuff.

Do you realize how much we accumulate during a lifetime, especially one that includes lifetimes of clutter left behind by parents and other past generations; stuff that requires heartrending decisions.

Should we discard three large plastic chests of supplies for a hobby Janet hadn’t practiced in five years?

Or my thousands of pages of columns, notes and speeches I have been planning for 20 years to turn into a book.

Or three full sets of dishes? The answers are no, no and yes, none of them backed by anything resembling logic or practicality, but all involving days of indecision.

The majestic corner cupboard, dating to the early 1800s, stayed because it is beautiful and historic, going back at least three generations.

The dish pattern called “The Chase,” which stopped being made in Great Britain around 1756 and has an intriguing pattern picturing a hunt during the Middle Ages, went, although not yet. It is still for sale at an astronomical price that dealers said is fair.

What about the crude dog dish our daughter made in clay class?

Or the beautiful rug we bought to tie all of our living room things together design-wise?

What about all the trinkets given to Janet by an old group of shopping friends? Stuff she liked we kept, as were the ugly things given by someone who is still alive and may pop in to visit.

As a somewhat public person and a gifted journalist, I had an impressive set of certificates, plaques and other awards. They gave me about a day’s worth of pleasure and became nuisance decorations thereafter. We kept a few, then threatened to scuttle the rest but first daughter objected and took them home. Good luck to her.

Speaking of children, much of the stuff we treasured was of no use to them. It was heart-breaking to turn things over to a resale shop or, horror of horrors, thrift stores who accepted gifts, sold them and gave the profits to good charities. We try not to think of them and, in fact, have already nearly forgotten which agency got which of our treasures.

Now, had we spent the intervening years using some practical method of ridding ourselves of questionable stuff, we would have had no trauma with this latest move.

I’d suggest something like an annual review. If you haven’t enjoyed or used something in a year, toss it.

This is good, sound and practical advice that will save you much grief and that about 4% of you will even consider.