Now that you mention it, officer, it does look a lot like a police car
A man went to extreme lengths to make his SUV look like a police car, installing big push bumpers and a light array all around the back and side. But a decal saying “emergency response,” heavily-tinted front windows and other irregularities attracted the attention of a passing sheriff in Oakland County, Mich., who pulled the vehicle over. “His initial response was, ‘Who are you?’ ” the officer reported. “And I said, “I’m the sheriff, who are you?’ ” Intensive questioning resulted.
I PROMISE I WON’T GET MAD, HONEY … FZZZZT! ... A 73-year-old man told his 68year-old wife that he wanted a separation after nine years of marriage, so she zapped him with a Taser.
JUST MAKE YOURSELF RIGHT AT HOME, SIR ... A 40-year-old man has been banned from the library in Sandusky, Ohio, after he was spotted in there drinking beer and watching pornography on one of the computers.
WHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE …
OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT! ... A woman swerved to avoid hitting a toilet that had been left in the middle of the eastbound lane on a roadway in Marshfield, Wisc. But she immediately crashed into a second toilet that had been left in the opposite westbound lane.
ARE YOU GOING TO HOLD THIS AGAINST ME, YOUR HONOR? ... A man got very drunk and drove to court in Mount Clemens, Mich., to face an operating while intoxicated charge. When he arrived, he was slurring his words, and admitted to the magistrate that he had had “a couple of shots,” but his blood alcohol level was nearly four times the legal limit.
IS THERE ANYTHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOU, SIR? ... A man skipped out on his trial in Sacramento, Calif., on sexual assault charges to meet up with a girl in Michigan who he had met online.
NATASHA, COME QUICK! … OH, NEVER MIND ... A horrified man in Russia thought his baby was trapped inside the washing machine, which was in full wash cycle, when he saw the child’s face pressed up against the glass door of the washer. But it was just a T-shirt with the kid’s face on it.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I PLANNED MORE CRIMES? ... A burglar, who smashed through the glass door of a home near Nashville, Tenn., and stole a TV set and a gun, accidentally dropped a notebook that contained a list of other places he planned to target. It also contained his daughter’s address.
YEAH, IT’S MY PLACE! WHY DO YOU ASK? ... A man moved into another person’s seasonal home in Charlevoix County, Mich., changed the locks and even put up a new mailbox. The cops have him in custody.