Virtues of a virtual bar mitzvah
Newton teen holds rite of passage online amid virus pandemic
While the coronavirus has upended major events and celebrations over the past month, a Newton teenager wasn’t about to let a global pandemic wreck one of his biggest life milestones this weekend.
Allen Gurvits’ bar mitzvah had togo on, he told the Herald on Sunday—even if it wasn’t the traditional way of having the coming-of-age ceremony.
The 13-year-old had his bar mitzvah from his living room with his family, while the rabbi and about 100 guests attended online.
“Some people might say, ‘Oh my god. I can’t have my bar mitzvah. Everything’s ruined,’ but I still wanted to go for it,” Allen said.
“It was definitely a different experience than I expected, but I still knew it was a real bar mitzvah,” he said. “It went really well, a lot of people were watching. It was really cool.”
The only people in physical attendance in the Newton home were Allen’s parents and his older sister.
Everyone else, including the rabbi, participated remotely via Zoom — the internet video platform that has taken off for meetings, hangouts and birthday parties over the past few weeks.
“Life gave us lemons, and we made lemonade, and it was very exciting,” said Allen’s father, Val. “It’s a real positive message in the midst of very negative events in the world, that we can persist and overcome adversity.”
Allen noted during his bar mitzvah speech that the Jewish people have a history of overcoming major challenges.
Allen’s parents, Val and Katrina, both escaped the Soviet Union — where practicing religion was not allowed. Allen’s great-great grandparents were killed in the Holocaust.
“Allen talked about what he had to go through is far from the worst that our people have had to endure,” Val said. “It’s so much less of an adversity than what Anne Frank went through, or people hiding during the Spanish Inquisition, or his own parents running from the Soviet Union.”
In Jewish tradition, a minimum of 10 Jewish adults in person is required to have a service such as a bar mitzvah. There were only four people in physical attendance at the living-room service on Saturday.
With social distancing these days, such traditional rules are “in flux,” said Avi Teken, the rabbi who led the virtual bar mitzvah.
“It’s tricky,” said Teken, spiritual leader of the Independent Jewish Community in Boston. “This is putting everything we know to test … April 8th is Passover, and I’m making plans for a virtual Passover Seder.”
Special circumstances, such as a public health crisis, allow for people to stray from the traditional rules, Allen’s father said.
“We have an emergency right now, and my feeling was we achieved a minyan (quorum) by simply having 10 Jewish men attend the ceremony virtually,” Val said. “I feel that God will forgive us for that.”
Once the coronavirus outbreak is gone and gatherings are allowed, they plan to have a large celebration in person with family and friends.
“As soon as we climb out of our caves, we will have a gigantic party,” Val said. “To celebrate life.”