Biden’s weak contact just a fowl bawl
New slogan for Biden campaign: Honk if you Love Joe!
This one might stick. Because there’s a new enemy most foul for the former vice president to overcome — geese.
Biden’s latest attempt at virtual campaigning due to coronavirus distancing was constantly interrupted by a chorus of heckling geese near his Delaware home, a chorus so loud it dominated the speech.
“You’re going to hear, there’s a pond on the other side of my property here. A lot of Canadian geese. If you hear them honking away, they’re cheering, that’s what they’re about,” Biden said.
Biden can’t even get the names of the birds right. They aren’t “Canadian” — they don’t actually have citizenship. It’s Canada geese, Joe.
Second of all, if you’ve ever encountered these geese on the golf course, they aren’t cheering you on. They are ornery and want you to go away, especially in spring when the goslings arrive.
The fact is no one really wants to hear Biden. Ever since wrapping up the Democratic nomination and shutting down his campaign due to coronavirus, Biden’s been comically bad.
His few attempts at livestreaming from his basement have usually gone badly wrong.
“We’re in the middle of a pandemic that has cost us more than 85,000 jobs as of today,” he said at a COVID-19 roundtable last week. “Lives of millions of people, millions of people, millions of jobs.”
Wow, only 85,000 jobs? Trump really does deserve to be re-elected. Except for those “millions” dead.
What Biden should be doing — and isn’t — is getting out of his basement and traveling. Not a lot, but a few visits to hospitals or manufacturing companies would at least keep him relevant and allow him to compete with Trump for attention.
Biden should also be livestreaming daily coronavirus briefings with guest experts, modeled after the ones U.S. Rep. Joseph P. Kennedy III is staging for his U.S. Senate campaign.
Kennedy has for weeks brought on experts and others dealing with coronavirus to highlight the impact of the pandemic and — let’s face it — bash President Trump. The events have livened up the youthful Kennedy’s campaign and kept him in the news. And they’re something that his opponent, U.S. Sen. Edward Markey can’t match.
Obviously Biden’s advisers have determined he can’t be trusted to engage in any type of unscripted activity.
But he can’t stay in his man cave forever. Biden has to come out at some point to debate Trump, in what undoubtedly be must-see TV. A bad slip-up there could be catastrophic for Biden’s White House hopes.
Can’t wait.