Monkeys see, monkeys do
Some 70 monkeys made a bold escape from the Takagoyama Zoo near Tokyo in the dead of night, marking the second time they have done this in less than a year. One of the macaques had apparently gnawed through metal fencing before encouraging the entire pack to follow in an audacious bid for freedom.
THIS TRUCK BELONG TO YOU SIR? A 22-year-old man stole a fire truck from the King Salmon Fire Station in Alaska, and drove it 15 miles down the Alaska Peninsula Highway with lights flashing to the Fisherman’s Bar in Naknek. The cops caught up with him there.
MYSTERY SOLVED: Police, responding to a report of a dead body in a barrel at a home in Middletown, Ohio, came and saw the homeowner toss the barrel over his back fence.
A BETTER REPRESENTATION OF CLIENTELE: A pub in Bristol, England, named after 17th Century slave trader Edward Colston, has been temporarily renamed “Ye olde Pubby Mcdrunkface.”
HE’S UP FOR THE ‘MOST AWESOME CRIMINAL’ AWARD: ‘Someone stole a photo radar speed camera from an intersection in Toronto. It weighs approximately 800 pounds, and typically requires a hydraulic lift to remove it. The police service is requesting the public’s assistance in locating the perpetrator.
DRINK UP, OUR UBER IS HERE: Two drunk ladies were careening through Huyton, England, in a white Mercedes without the owner’s permission at four in the morning, when it crashed into a Ford Focus parked on the side of the road. The cops arrived to find one of them “finishing off a glass of wine.”
TOTALLY WORTH IT! A man consumed a drug called Isolurane, a powerful horse tranquilizer, which was stolen from a veterinarian’s office in Basingstoke, England. He is in the hospital.
I’D PREFER TIRES IF YOU DON’T MIND: Due to a downloading error, every customer’s item scanned by computers at the Canadian Tire Store in Lindsay, Ontario, came up as “Mr. Potato Head,” and could not be changed. All sales were canceled. Technicians were working to eliminate the glitch.
I WON’T COME DOWN AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME: Police saw a man make an illegal lane change on Interstate 40 in Oklahoma City, and chased him until he crashed his car into a home four minutes later. He ran, and the cops found him hiding on the roof of a nearby house.
THERE ARE SOME RETURN COSTUMERS WE DON’T NEED: Two masked men stole beer from the same convenience store in Woodhaven, Mich., twice within a two-day span. The cops have surveillance footage.
I THINK THE NAVIGATION SYSTEM IS BAD, OFFICER: A 28-year-old man stole a 46foot Jeanneau Leader boat worth $900,000 from a Thunder Marine in St. Petersburg, Fla., at 2:15 a.m., and ran it into four channel-marker pilings. He then abandoned the vessel, leaving it to drift into an oyster bed.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT TAKING ME TO MIAMI! A woman was arrested after she called the police emergency number four times from a parking lot in Winter Haven, Fla., asking for a ride to another city.