‘Happiest Season’ more meh than merry holiday rom-com
How on Earth did co-writer-director Clea DuVall take a story about about an appealing lesbian couple at Christmastime played by Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis and make something as square, lame and dreary as “Happiest Season”? On top of that, she makes the mistake of inviting comparisons between her inadequate, occasionally amusing effort and the beloved holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life”? What is she vaping?
Abby (Stewart) and Harper (Davis) live together in a modest, one-bedroom flat in Pittsburgh, and while Abby is “not a Christmas person,” Harper persuades her to accompany her to her family holiday festivities. These last for five days. The twist is that Harper has lied about coming out to her family, and therefore Abby must pretend to be the “orphan roommate” who has nowhere to go for Christmas. Abby leaves her friend John (award-winning “Schitt’s Creek” showrunner and actor Dan Levy), who is Abby’s gay guide and the authority on all things woke, to take care of her many pets. As it turns out, Harper is from money.
Her family home is a mansion-sized brick beauty. Her father, Ted Caldwell (Victor Garber), is about “faith, family and tradition” and is running for mayor in his conservative small town, which is somehow all nonchain stores and one oldtime movie theater. Harper’s mother, Tipper (Mary Steenburgen, thank the gods), is a perfectionist control-freak. Her sister Jane (co-writer Mary Holland) is a singleton weirdo completing a world-building, fantasy novel she tells everyone about at great length. Harper’s older sister Sloane (Alison Brie) is a former Yaleeducated attorney turned mother of smart, preschool twins and Goop-approved gift basket purveyor, along with husband Eric (Burl Moseley).
On the first night of Christmas at the Caldwells, Abby accompanies the family to a swank restaurant and discovers that Harper’s ex-boyfriend from high school (Jake McDornan, who looks familiar) has been invited. She also meets Harper’s ex-girlfriend from high school, Riley (Aubrey Plaza, another plus in this comedy wasteland).
Oh, the twists and turns, gusts of emotion and, yes, there is a country club. At home the next morning,
Abby and Harper almost get caught in the same bedroom. Abby stays in touch with John, who appears to think of Duckie from “Pretty in Pink” as a fashion god, to report the developments and seek advice about such subjects as “hetero-normativity.” She runs into flirty Riley in town, where there is a gay bar, where patrons sing about Santa.
You can imagine everything that happens in “Happiest Season” — and not in a good way. A shoplifting plot twist is too painful for words, so I won’t waste any more. The cast is talented. The screenplay is not good. When you add insipid pop songs to the mix, you have weak Christmas movie punch, indeed. Where is Scrooge when you need him?
How will things turn out? I think everybody knows. It’s nice to have a woman director behind the camera. But Frank Capra’s reputation is safe.