Run of excellence ends with an LA flop
Stretch of 17 years with 10 or more wins halted
The Patriots’ run of 17 straight seasons with 10-or-more wins died in La La Land Thursday night with a 24-3 loss to the Los Angeles Rams. There will be no mix-up at the Oscars, this time, either. This flop was a clear winner for “Worst Picture of the Year.”
The last time the Patriots failed to win 10 games in a season we weren’t even at war in Iraq.
It happened before iTunes, social media or the Xbox 360.
It was so long ago, the Patriots were knocked out of the playoffs that season by the New York Jets. The year was 2002.
There will be no Hollywood Ending for the ennui of 2020.
Bill Belichick’s 2002 Patriots were nursing a major Super Bowl XXXVI hangover.
The Patriots finished 9-7 that year thanks to a run where they lost five of seven games. The Patriots season ended with a win over the Dolphins. A few hours later, the Jets would beat the Packers. All three teams finished 9-7, with the Jets snagging the tiebreak due to their superior record against common opponents.
Yes, we have been alive long enough to see the Jets win a threeteam tiebreaker.
The Patriots will have to win their final three games — at Miami and home against the Bills and Jets — to match that 9-7 finish, which occurred during George Bush 43’s first term. The Patriots carry roughly the same mathematical odds to reach the playoffs as Donald Trump does to run the table in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin.
About one in 5 million quadrillion gazillion … to the fourth power. (Or 6% according to the nerds at ESPN.)
Bill Belichick’s 2020 Patriots are nursing a major Tom Brady hangover.
It remains glaring there was no real plan of succession at QB for the post-Brady Era, in spite of nearly a decade of warning that his demise/exit was imminent, beyond Jimmy G. Well, we needed a 25th, 26th and 27th Amendment.
Watching Cam Newton implode on Thursday, all of New England was chilled to think that he was Plan “C” — after Brian Hoyer and Jarrett Stidham.
As we enter the Holiday Season, Brady has become the ghost of Christmas past in New England. The halcyon days of winning and deep playoff runs are now the stuff of metaphysical visits to days past or a time that has yet to be.
Before the Patriots lost Thursday, we learned that Mr. and Mrs. Brady sold their 12th-floor Tribeca condo in New York City overlooking the Hudson River for about $40 million and paid $17 million for a lot on Indian Creek Island near Miami. That spot is known as “Billionaire’s Row” to the locals. The couple plans to build an ecofriendly mansion from scratch. Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner will be among Tom and Gisele’s new neighbors. Indian Creek Village has 42 people, at least 13 fulltime police officers, 34 homes built around a golf course and 24/7 armed marine security given that each manse backs to Biscayne Bay. Privacy is a big deal. Brady had been reportedly touring the nearby waters in his brand new multi-million-dollar, 40-foot speedboat.
He reaffirmed his love for the Sunshine State this week by recognizing the obvious while remarking on the pleasantries of Florida weather in December. “You won’t catch me dead living in the Northeast anymore,” he told reporters in Tampa.
New England’s one-time forever franchise QB has become the ultimate Bond villain.
Meanwhile, his former team’s playoff fate hangs by a torn rope hanging above a tank full of hungry sharks complete with laser beams.
New England amassed 45 points against the Chargers on Sunday despite Newton throwing for a Gronkian total of 69 yards. Four nights later in the same building, the Patriots fell to 6-7 after a putrid performance against the Rams. The Patriots reached the Red Zone four times Thursday and came away with just 3 points. Newton was sacked 4 times and finished with 119 yards passing, hitting 9 of 16 attempts for a 53.9 QB rating. Newton reinforced his eponymous law as passes fell to the ground without success and the ground game stalled.
Save for punter Jake “Don’t’ Call Me Mister” Bailey, the team stink, stank, stunk.
The Grinch’s heart grew four sizes watching Kenny Young run back a 79-yard pick-six that was generated by Newton’s worst throw as a Patriot.
It got so bad, the merry gentlemen (and ladies) of Patriots nation began DM’ing Santa Claus to ask for Stidham.
They got their wish.
Put another lump of coal in that stocking.
“Cam’s our quarterback,” Belichick said after defeat. Yippie. This season is all-but over two weeks before Christmas.
Before you become flush in the State Run Media propaganda praising the defense of Messrs. Belichick Elder and Belichick Younger, the Patriots’ defense shared in this pre-Yuletide woe.
On the Rams’ first two possessions, Sean McVay stuffed Cam Akers down New England’s throat to the tune of 100 total yards — 83 rushing. The Rams led 10-0 less than 10 minutes in around a Patriots three-and-out.
Akers finished with 171 yards rushing in a performance eerily reminiscent of Derrick Henry’s stomp-down delivered this past January at Gillette Stadium. Jared Goff usually offers up more turnovers than McDonald’s on a snow day. But all the Patriots could coax from the Rams QB was a sweet felonious swipe by Myles Bryant.
Of the seven losses this season, the one Thursday night was the most revealing. There were no “what ifs” to bail out the Patriots beyond “what if the game was called due to COVID?”
In the good old days — pre-2019 — the 21st Century version of the Patriots always played their best football in December, if not January. This team bottomed out two nights ago. Only the calendar will tell us if the hole gets any deeper.