Biden voters regretting it
At least supporters have plenty of lame entertainment content to soothe the pain
It’s been a tough week for Joe Biden supporters.
Leading up to November, they were promised decency, transparency and stimulus checks. So far they have received higher gas prices, no solo press conferences and a lethal air strike in Syria.
But there are some people who despise former President Donald Trump so irrationally that they would never admit they made the wrong choice.
You know these people. In 2018, they posted instagrams decrying Trump for putting kids in cages. But they’re a lot less vocal about Biden putting “children in migrant facilities” (a.k.a. shipping containers).
Despite the large Trump Derangement Syndrome faction of Biden voters, I do suspect that there are people — suburban women, for example — who are realizing they made the wrong choice.
To those Americans suffering buyers’ remorse, I have two great pieces of news for you.
One, you no longer have to suffer sleepless nights due to Orange Man’s mean tweets.
Sure, Joe Biden is taking military action without even telling Vice President Kamala Harris. And yes, the 78-year-old seems to be bullied by teachers unions, China and even Father Time. But hey, at least there won’t be late-night tweets about covfefe. That’s something!
Plus there is plenty of insufferable content to keep you distracted from the gnawing feeling of regret.
Hillary Rodham Clinton took a break from her Chardonnay-fueled walks in the woods to write a fictional political thriller. According to the Rolling Stone, “The book, ‘State of Terror,’ will sound familiar to anyone aware of Clinton’s biography: A ‘novice’ secretary of state, working in the administration of a rival politician, attempts to solve a wave of terrorist attacks.”
I wonder, will this fictional secretary of state end up running for president? If so, will she be smart enough to campaign in Wisconsin? Only time will tell.
If Hillary is as captivating a writer as she is a political candidate, this might be the perfect paperback to put you to sleep.
Next up, have you ever been driving into work or walking on the treadmill and thought, “I wonder what two bloviating multimillionaires think about reparations?”
Well, I have the podcast for you!
“Renegades: Born in the USA” features former President Barack Obama and former Jeep spokesman Bruce Springsteen in a battle over who can be the most out of touch.
Listen to these beautiful people as they soak up each others awesomeness while also telling totally believable stories, like that time Barack broke a guy’s nose
for calling him a racial slur.
This podcast is a real twofer. You’re not simply signaling your virtue by streaming it, but you are also supporting the liberals’ lifestyles.
Don’t forget, Obama’s $11.75 million Martha’s Vineyard beachside mansion is not going to pay for itself.
Speaking of the island property, I’m sure Bruce and Barry will be discussing climate change and rising sea levels at some point in the podcast’s future.
If you are more of a movie buff, fear not — the left has
you covered.
Amazon Studios is releasing a documentary later this year about Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg. “Mayor Pete” follows the failed presidential campaign of the former mayor of South Bend, Ind. Riveting.
While Republicans will be watching Trump’s Conservative Political Action Conference speech, there’s an alternative for those trying to forget about the election: The 78th Golden Globes, which are on tonight.
Unlike the lowly rated
past four years, today’s annual snooze fest will be apolitical. Tina Fey, the cohost of the self-congratulatory love fest, has assured us that, “It doesn’t seem like a venue for political jokes.”
I hate to be the one to break this to Tina, but the Golden Globes hasn’t been a venue for any kind of jokes in decades.
These rich, conceited Hollywood blowhards have decided to lay off the presidential jokes now that the Mario Kart King is in office. Timing really is everything!
To the contrite voters out
there, don’t beat yourselves up over electing a senile, incompetent empty suit. Instead, fill your minds with pompous, feel-good fluff from the mutual admiration society.
So while President Biden raises your taxes and talks to reporters about his two dogs, there’s a silver lining: President Trump is not here to hurt your feelings anymore.
The country might not be safer or stronger under President Biden, but one thing is certain — everything is back to normal.