Three drunks on two roads one morning in Wisconsin ... what could possibly go wrong?

Three men, who were all driving drunk, crashed into each other at an intersection in Mount Pleasant, Wisc., at 2:45 in the morning, officials said. One of the drunks, driving a pickup truck heading southbound on Highway 32, drifted into the northbound lane, and hit a drunk driving an SUV head-on. Moments later, the third drunk hit the pickup truck. The SUV caught fire “due to the severity of the collision.”

WHAT GAVE ME AWAY, OFFICER: A man who set his car on fire and reported it stolen in Mount Pleasant Township, Pa., was arrested when troopers examined his phone’s internet history. They found that he had searched for “how to set your car on fire and make it look like an accident.”

HEY, MR. CASUALLY DRESSED: A drunk driver, wearing only boxer shorts, a T-shirt and one sock, roared through a barricaded crash scene in Sarasota, Fla., at 100 mph, nearly hitting six deputies.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD: A woman who was arrested for possession of heroin in Altoona, Pa., showed up for a meeting with her probation officer with lots and lots of heroin in her purse.

ROBBERY USUALLY REQUIRES THE FACE-TO-FACE THING: A masked man tried to rob a bank in Hartsville, S.C., by passing a note to the tellers through the pneumatic tube at the drivethrough, threatening to kill them unless they turned over all the money from the cash drawers. Instead, the tellers called the cops who arrived in force immediately thereafter.

OK, CRACK TO THE LEFT, COKE TO THE RIGHT: A crack house in Middlesbrough, England, was shut down after neighbors noticed that it was so busy that two lines of customers waiting to buy drugs extended out onto the street.

HEY, YOU HAD NO REASON TO PULL ME OVER! … OH, RIGHT: A man who was smoking marijuana and had numerous weapons and prescription pills inside his car was arrested as he drove through Lincoln, Neb., because he didn’t have license plates on his vehicle.

A DATE ISN’T A BUSINESS TRANSACTION, SIR? A woman went on three dates in Milwaukee with a man she met on Tinder, and decided not to go out with him again, so the guy asked her to pay him back $35, half of the money he had spent on their dates, saying it’s “only fair.” She refused.

QUIET KIDS, DADDY NEEDS TO CONCENTRATE: A drunk driver led state troopers on a high-speed chase through Dubois, Pa., in a minivan with three children inside while pulling a U-Haul trailer. After swerving in and out of traffic, he drove through a parking lot, and then back onto the highway where he hit a curb and the trailer became unhooked. He then continued to swerve through traffic, struck another vehicle, lost control and got stuck on a curb.

THAT SEEMS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME, SIR: A man who was arrested for driving off in a police cruiser in Williamsport, Pa., with a K-9 dog in a cage in the back told officers that his father is the sun and his mother is the moon.