How to live under financial restraining order

I am going through a divorce and I don’t understand the financial restraining order. I moved out of the house because my husband is abusive. I rented a small apartment to live in while the case is pending. My apartment isn’t in walking distance to the train so I needed a car. He wouldn’t let me take the one car we own so I bought a used car.

I was just served with a complaint for contempt. My husband says I could not use money in our joint account to rent an apartment or buy a car. I left half the money in our savings account but used the other half to pay first, last and security deposit and buy a used Toyota Camry. I don’t have anything left and am now afraid that I will have to pay my husband’s legal fees and re-pay the savings account which is what he is asking the judge to order.

Do you think he will win the contempt? How do I avoid being accused of violating this order again and still live?

In most cases, it is safe to assume a joint savings account will be equally divided. In fact, I often advise people to take half and move to an account in their own name so that they have an emergency fund while the divorce is ongoing. The fact that you took half and spent it for basic needs ought not to be held against you.

You should file an answer to his complaint for contempt and state that it is not a violation to use the funds from your joint account to secure housing for yourself. You have no obligation to continue to live under the same roof during the divorce — especially if there is ongoing abuse under that roof. Likewise, you did not dissipate assets by purchasing a used car — you changed the nature of an asset from cash to equity in a vehicle. Arguably it would be better to have reached an agreement on the car purchase before moving forward but you fulfilled a necessity so you could get to work — again not something you will be faulted for.

The automatic restraining order was put in place to stop people from playing games during the divorce. Had you liquidated all the savings and bought a new Tesla — that would be a different story. The idea is to prevent dissipation of assets, not the changing the nature of the investment in such a way that fulfills a basic life need. To avoid future accusations, ask the court before making a large investment. Also, do not make any beneficiary changes to health or life insurance or retirement assets. You can pay all your regular bills — including legal fees without issue.

As for paying his legal fees — don’t sweat it — that would only be ordered if he proves you are in contempt and even then it is not a guarantee.