Dear Abby: Hubby’s hairy protest more than wife can bear

Dear Abby: My husband is a wonderful man. We’ve been married 31 years and retired for the past six. He takes care of most of the housework, and I have a part-time job. We have no children or nearby relatives.

My only complaint is something that has driven me crazy for years now, and I need your advice. When a certain political candidate was elected, my good-looking husband decided to grow out his hair and beard in protest. I let it slide, but he knew how I felt about it. I figured it would last only a few years. Well, that politician has been out of office quite a while now, and my husband still looks like he’s indigent. It’s so embarrassing, I don’t want to be seen with him.

I have begged, pleaded, nagged (his term) and kept quiet, hoping he would surprise me with a haircut. Nothing. I tried insulting him, telling him his credibility was trash because, obviously, this has nothing to do with his “protest.” I am ready to leave. The last straw was when he started quoting Howard Hughes. Has my husband lost it? Because I’m about to.

— Embarrassed in Illinois Dear Embarrassed: A marriage to someone you can no longer stand to be near isn’t much of a marriage.

If your husband is quoting Howard Hughes, his longterm memory is intact. It may be time to make an appointment for the two of you for your annual checkups. When you do, relate your concerns to the doctor in advance. If it turns out your husband’s mental status is normal (although, who knows what is “normal” these days), you may have to issue your hairy hubby an ultimatum. A word of warning though: Do NOT issue one unless you are serious about following through.