Dear Abby: Aging dog’s care divides loyalties in relationship

Dear Abby: I’m in a sevenyear relationship with a beautiful woman I love and would do anything in the world for. I feel she would do the same for me. She has a dog, “Preston,” who she loves and who has been with her since puppyhood. At 16, Preston is failing badly and is on his last legs. There is no doubt his time is coming.

We had planned on meeting my son and grandchildren for a family celebration after a seven-hour drive. Her plan was to accompany me, but now, because of Preston’s condition, she has changed her mind. I understand that. However, she’s now angry that I am going alone.

I spend every day with her and go out of my way always to support her. She has no grandchildren, having lost her only daughter two decades ago. I will be gone for only a weekend and return in plenty of time to be with her afterward.

I haven’t seen my three granddaughters in a year, and who knows when I will again. Should I feel guilty about leaving her and the dog? I am stuck in the middle here, and am going to upset her or my son’s family no matter what I do.

— Man in the Middle Dear Man: You stated that your significant other’s only child died 20 years ago. It is possible that puppy Preston became like a child to her, and losing him is causing her to revisit the loss of her daughter. If there is any way to manage it, postpone the visit with your son and his family until later in the year, after Preston’s passing, or have them come to you. If that’s not possible, because it’s only a weekend, go see your son and your grandkids but remain in contact with her from afar during the visit.