What on earth could they be talking about?

Two 20-year-old men returned their rental car to an agency in Izumo, Japan, but inadvertently left lots of drugs in the vehicle. They soon called in with an urgent message they had “forgotten something” and were coming back “to pick it up, so don’t you dare look at what’s inside.” Employees called the cops.

YOU’LL NEVER GET ME, COPPER! … CRASH!: Detectives seeking to arrest a man on two felony warrants, who was hiding in the attic of his home in Cape Coral, Fla., spoke to him through an open hatch, and asked him to surrender. He refused, but soon crashed through the ceiling onto the floor below.

DRAT! FOILED BY TECHNOLOGY!: An employee of a restaurant and sports bar in New Rochelle, N.Y., did not wish to go to work, so she sent Google Voice text messages threatening to “shoot up” the place and stating that there would be a “massacre.” The cops traced the phone number back to her apartment in the Bronx.

YOU GOTTA’ LOVE TEXAS: Four armed men wearing masks stormed into a gas station convenience store in Houston and announced that they were robbing the place. But a customer — who was also armed — opened fire and shot three of them. Their getaway car driver took the wounded robbers to a hospital.

OH LOOK, HE’S BACK: Employees at an apartment building in Lincoln, Neb., stopped a man who was using a dumbbell to smash his way into one of the units. He exited the scene on a bicycle, but came back an hour later and started smashing the apartment’s windows. He fled again, but the cops caught up with him soon after.

WHEEE!: A man was arrested for reckless driving and second-degree reckless endangerment after he recorded himself speeding at 133 mph along Route 7 in Norwalk, Conn., and posting the video on Instagram and Facebook.

AHA! WE’VE GOT YOU NOW!: The California Highway Patrol chasing a stolen car on the 210 Freeway in San Bernardino backed off because of high speeds, but continued following it. Ten minutes later, the thief ran out of gas.

YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN OFF, BOZO!: A man pulled a gun — which turned out to be stolen — on an employee at the drive-thru window of the Wendy’s in Gastonia, N.C., because he didn’t receive sauce with his order. He threatened to shoot the worker, who shut the window and called the cops, so the guy drove around the parking lot refusing to leave. The police soon arrived.