POLICAR, David
Passed away on Friday, April 28, 2023, at Lahey Hospital in Burlington, following a heart attack. He is survived by his husband Paulo Ruffino; his brother, Alberto; sister-in-law, Laura; niece, Selina; nephew, Darrin; his mother, Elisa Policar; and a vast assembly of precious friends.
David was born in New Jersey in 1969 and graduated from North Bergen High School 1986. He attended MIT, where he was a resident at Fenway House(an independent living group), a member of the Alpha Chi chapter of the Alpha Phi Omega national service fraternity (where he was banned from using crowbars), and a founding member of the Tech Random Music Ensemble. He graduated in 1990 with a B.Sc. in Cognitive Science.
In 1992 he met Paulo Ruffino and their loving partnership continued for more than thirty years, marked by a celebration of their legal marriage in 2010. They made their home together in Somerville, Waltham, and finally Woburn, where their living room was often a gathering place for friends.
After graduation, David worked for Laspau, a program affiliated with Harvard University that connects individuals and institutions with opportunities to enhance the quality and impact of higher education in the Americas. He then transitioned into the tech industry, first as a technical writer with Athena Design and then into a position that evolved from documentation to software architect and business analyst, while the name over the door changed from Kenan Systems to Alcatel-Lucent to Mavenir to Amdocs, all without Dave feeling that he’d ever switched jobs.
Dave built community throughout his life and was an inveterate storyteller, excellent listener, and hugger extraordinaire. For fifteen years he was a mainstay of Theatre@First, community theatre in Somerville, last appearing in The Magic Fire (2017). He loved comic books, science fiction, and role-playing games, and he delighted in dancing as if no one were watching, even when they were. He enjoyed cooking and thrilled in making far too much food for his friends and family to ever consume. His Jewish identity was important to him throughout his life and in recent years he found a faith community at Temple B’nai Brith in Somerville.
David was a gifted writer of fiction and poetry, but most of his writing involved thinking publicly and engaging with friends and strangers on the internet. His Facebook community was a place of deep conversation, primarily around ethics, where he shared openly about his recovery from a stroke in 2008, his journey with cancer since 2019, and his lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety. His vulnerability, honesty, and willingness to engage with commenters created a challenging and nurturing space for hundreds of people. His insightful conversation and authentic presence are a great loss to all who loved him.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to any of these organizations in Dave’s name:
The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject. org, Keshet: www.keshetonline.org/ donate, Hias: www.hias.org, Temple B’nai Brith: www.tbbsomerville.weebly. com/give