True Colors

“My Sons Have Different Skin Colors. Will the World Treat Them Differently?” (February 11) is truly worth reading — it is honest, sensitive, and instructive. Thousands of us have had to deal with this sort of questioning — at times rude and intrusive, other times innocent . We are the adoptive families among you. Our daughter was born in Vietnam. She has her own stories about assumptions, color blindness, etc. I will share just one. She needed to go to Town Hall to get a work permit when she was 14 or 15. The woman at the counter looked at us and asked, “What is your relationship to her — does she work for you?” My daughter said, “Yes, I work for her. She is my MOTHER.” This world is in so much turmoil, much of it due to mindless assumptions and unfounded prejudices.

Barbara Harting Framingham

Good story about good parenting. We cannot ignore cultural and coloring differences; pretending that these things don’t exist doesn’t make them go away. Explaining and celebrating differences is much better. eastsight posted on bostonglobe.com

I came away from this article kind of comforted. As long as there are good people guiding our kids, we’ll one day outgrow the racism on this planet. aruby posted on bostonglobe.com

Steered Away

Thank you to Perspective author Pietra Rivoli for her essay on sexism in the car salesroom (“It’s 2024, and Being a Woman Buying a Car Is Still Miserable,” February 18). My husband and I have bought a number of cars together. Nearly every time, the salesmen speak to him, even though I am the one who asks questions regarding financials. I am the one who asks for the CARFAX report, but they hand him the printout. Every. Time. We once had a salesperson who was SO obnoxious to me, we both turned from the car we were looking at and left. We wanted that car. It was in our price range, great mileage, but no way was I going to hand a check to that man. On the other hand, we had an experience where the salesperson was so respectful, we ended up being repeat customers.

Tina Palmer Halifax

I walk into a car dealer and it brings out the worst in me. I warn any salesperson I encounter not to play games because I will be mean. I have bought at least eight cars for myself and children (mostly used). You have to know where they have the flexibility to negotiate (trading in your car for something newer). It’s an obnoxious game.

Deborah Felton Milton

I have been complaining about this since 1979 when a Buick salesman suggested I come back with my husband! I laughed, promptly left, and went to the Honda dealership down the street, where I began by saying, “I’m buying this car — not my husband — and if you want to sell me a car, keep that in mind.” I have purchased five cars since then, and I do my research

before I go. When a salesman approaches, I describe the car I want, the equipment it must have, and the monthly note I’m willing to pay. He always tells me he can’t do it, but eventually does. One time I left and the dealership called me back the next day and gave me what I had asked for. I have seen some improvement in attitude over the years, but I think it is because women have become more assertive now that the majority are in the workplace.

Mary Jane McCarthy Falmouth

After reading Rivoli’s piece about women and car buying, it brought to mind my late wife’s solution when we needed to replace our minivan. She empowered our 16-year-old son, Seth, to make the deal for our new Honda Odyssey. After we reviewed his negotiation, we completed the transaction. Her action not only defused her anxiety, but taught Seth a lesson in bargaining for a big-ticket item.

Marc L. Cooper Westport

Even as an old, white male “car guy” I am still reluctant to enter a showroom. I’m in the market for a new car, perhaps the last new one I’ll ever buy, and the amount of research required is daunting. So far, none of the models I’ve seen has said “buy me.” They’re all boring. I’m glad the writer found something worth buying, and hope that it’s reliable, but not dull.

James Vander Poel Northborough

The profit motive is a terrible thing and, by and large, car salespeople are paid on commission. One workaround that I helped craft over the years was to accompany many, many women friends to the dealership and we always ended up with a better deal. Is that right? Of course not, but most negotiated commerce is truly a contest of wills, and almost never offers a guarantee of a fair deal.

Tim Scott Jackson, New Hampshire

Almost every dealership has a woman or two selling cars. I always go to them. I am not a car guy. I don’t like the way male salespeople treat me, either. It is NOT female discrimination — it is EVERYONE discrimination.

Bob Surrette Dennis

I went to look at Saab convertibles. I had always negotiated car buying, but the caveat was that I accompanied my husband. A salesman asked my name, which is Italian. He said that he too was Italian and kissed my hand. I’ve never seen a salesman kiss my husband’s hand and it struck me as odd. Then I saw “IT” in the showroom: a forest green convertible with butter cream upholstery. I was captivated. I wanted that car. I asked, “What is the cost?” fully expecting to negotiate. His response: “Do you think that you can afford this car?” I was dumbfounded, insulted, and walked out. Another salesman who witnessed the encounter followed me. He said, “I’d be happy to sell you the car,” and gave me his card. I picked up the car later in the week.

Josephine Antico Byfield

I was so disheartened to read this, and it brought me back to 1995 when I faced the exact same questions — has nothing changed in almost 30 years? I’m not sure what the answer is at this point, but I’m going to insist on female salespeople in the future. If all women do the same, perhaps we can turn this ridiculous thinking around.

Jeanne DiSanto Ayer

I have experienced the same problem in my nearly 50 years of driving. However, I had no problems or concerns when buying my Tesla! There is a set price tag, good information, and liberal test drive policies (the agent came with me to explain how to use novel features, and another time let me take it alone). The mall store is staffed by kids on salary and not commissioned sellers. I highly recommend for the author’s next purchase. Deborah Scott Framingham

Every time we buy a car, my husband waits for the moment he relishes — that point where the salesperson has stopped talking to me and directs all questions to him. That’s when my husband loudly and incredulously says, “What are you asking me for?! She’s the one with the money!” Jen Ibrahin Newton

Sweet Treat

I made the 1-2-3-4 Yogurt Cake, and all I can say is WOW (Cooking, February 18)! I am a longtime reader of the Globe and have hundreds of recipes from years of the Food section and “In the Kitchen…”. But this just blew me away with its simplicity and ease. The texture was like pound cake and it cooked up beautifully, not to mention the delicate taste. I added some vanilla but will also try again with lemon zest! This will now be one of my go-to recipes and one I will refuse to share with friends as I won’t want them to know how easy it was!

Kathleen Gemma Hopkinton

CONTACT US Write to magazine@globe.com or The Boston Globe Magazine/ Comments, 1 Exchange Place, Suite 201, Boston, MA 02109-2132. Comments are subject to editing.