Long’s compassion, dedication a valuable asset to families in times of grief
It takes a special heart, someone committed to make a difference in their community to deal with death, and the grief that comes with it, each and every day. But funeral director Alvin Long, who works for Thomas Funeral Home, has that heart for serving his community, a community his family has been tied to since the Civil War.
“My father and mother were born here, my grandmother and grandfather were born here, we go all the way back (in Gordon County) to the Civil War,” said Long. “As a matter of fact, my sister and I still have some of the family property that was here during the Civil War in Sugar Valley.”
Long realized in high school that he wanted to do something different with his life. A 1973 graduate of Calhoun High School, Long decided before he graduated that he wanted to serve his community in a nontraditional way.
“It takes a very special person to get in the funeral profession and stay in it, having to deal with death every day,” said Long. “Around 1968 or so, I think I knew that I just didn’t want to work in the carpet industry. That’s what my dad did, it’s what my mom did. There’s certainly nothing wrong with it, it’s been the lifeline of Gordon County industry wise, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to do. I worked as a creeler; I worked in the dye house. I’ve done the carpet industry and yet it wasn’t something that was calling me. So, I told my father I wanted to do something special, something that I could get involved with that I enjoyed. He said, ‘Well, I went to VA school with Max Brannon, and he’s opening up a funeral home.’ So he talked to Max, and I went to work for Max Brannon when he first opened up his business. Back then, it was very exciting was a young person.”
It was new and different for Long. During those days, the funeral home ran the local ambulance service. “I wasn’t even able to drive, but I could jump in an ambulance and take off,” said Long.
“So, I began doing the yard work and the clean up, and through the years, got involved in the dayto- day operations of the funeral business,” said Long. “Now that being said, I think I was making about $45 per week. So, Harvey Combs, who had the other funeral home in town, offered me $50 a week to come to work for him. And he was right across the street from a restaurant. So, I could eat and work and not have to go very far. So, I went to work for Harvey Combs. All through high school, that’s all that I did, and I enjoyed it so much. But I knew that if I wanted to get ahead, I would have to go to school, so I decided very early on to go to mortuary college.”
Long attended Gupton- Jones College of Science after graduating high school. “When I graduated there, I came back and I’ve been in the business ever since,” said Long. “Since 1968, this is what I’ve done and enjoyed.”
One of the aspects of the funeral business that is important to Long is helping those that are dealing with the grief of the death of a loved one. “I think anytime that anyone has lost someone that they care about, they don’t know what to do,” said Long. “They are dealing with grief, they are dealing with loss and then here we come- they’ve got to decide on the answers to 20 different questions. They will be asked about anything from cemetery lots to the minister handling the service, pallbearers, music, flowers, clothing. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know what their mother’s maiden name is, because they can’t think of it at that time. I think, at that time, to just have a funeral director that can sit down with you and walk you through everything there is to celebrate this person’s life. That’s what I enjoy.”
“And, we take it a step further,” continued Long. “There are things that happen after the funeral that people have no idea about or have never dealt with. Things like social security, Veteran’s Administration, probating of a will- we are going to walk you through everything. We file the death certificate for you, we file all the permits for you. We do all of those things so you can now deal with all the things going on in your life- deal with your loss, deal with your grief and not have to worry about what to do about social security or who’s going to call the VA. That’s what we are here to do. And I think that’s what any good funeral home and funeral director is going to do. Be there for you, not at just that time, but afterwards and for months afterwards.”
Long is a longtime committed director at Thomas Funeral Home. “Thomas Funeral Home is the oldest funeral home in Gordon County,” said Long. “J.W. Thomas started this when he came home from the war in 1946. After starting the funeral home, J.W. and his wife lived in the funeral home, which was common at the time. That was located in downtown Calhoun, in what is now the Gordon County Administration building. That building is so important to the history of downtown; it was built by Dr. Richards back in 1912. When I was a commissioner (for Gordon County), I wanted to make sure that building was preserved, so what better way to do that than to put the county offices there?
“Bruce (Thomas, the owner of the funeral home) is the only son of J.W. and Evelyn Thomas, and he has operated the funeral home, seven days a week and has carried on the legacy of his father,” continued Long.
In addition to Thomas and Long, Ken Greeson works part time with the funeral home, and all three are the only licensed funeral directors and embalmers there. Paige Roland and Chaz Mezick are full time with the funeral home as apprentice funeral directors and embalmers. “Both do a great job,” said Long. “We have several part time people who help us. We handle 180 to 200 funerals a year with that size staff, and we do a very good job at it.”
Customer service is key to the success of the funeral home. “When someone passes away, we go right then, day or night, whatever time that is,” said Long. “We will go wherever they are- home, nursing home, hospital- and bring them back to the funeral home. We will then notify the family, give them just a little idea of what to expect, what we are going to be asking. Make sure they are okay and make sure we answer any questions they have. We will go over with them some things they need to be thinking about and set up a time with them to come in and finalize all the arrangements.
Pastor Drew Elrod
“During that meeting, we will walk them through things like cemetery, opening and closing graves, music, ministers, pallbearers, all the things we need for the death certificate, all the things we need for social security, all the things we might need for the Veteran’s Administration. We will go over with them that we will help them with their insurance, the probating of wills, and whatever else they need, we are going to walk them through it. And understand when that happens, people don’t understand what we are saying. A lot of them are in shock and grieving. I don’t care how long you prepare, it is always a shock. And I will tell them, in a week or so, when everything has calmed down a little, I am going to go over all of these things with you again. Don’t worry about what’s happening today. Let’s get through the funeral, let’s get through this process and then we’ll worry about paperwork later. We will then contact hair dressers and make sure the family has all their clothing together, call florists and order flowers, type obituaries, get all the paperwork in line for the death certificate. A few days after everything, I will call them to find out if they have any questions, any problems, what I can help them with. And I will also go over with them what to do for themselves. And what I mean by that is, is their will up to date? Has their beneficiaries changed on their personal insurance policies? What can we do to help with paperwork, things like car titles, getting titles changed. We are going to help you with all of those things. We are going to show you where to go, what to do; if I have to, I’ll put you in the car and take you.”
Long has advice for everyone, because eventually, we will all deal with death. “I think that if I could give anyone advice, it would be to prepare,” said Long. “Prepare for what you know if going to happen. Talk to your funeral director, talk to your attorney. Make sure you have cemetery lots. Sit down with a professional who knows what you will need at that time. What I tell people is, that I want you to have everything planned.”
Long has seen many changes in funerals during the years and says that convenience has driven changes in the funeral business. “I think when we first started, and any funeral director who has been in the business as long as I have can tell you, we would keep a truck loaded with chairs, coffee pots, door badges because people went home,” said Long. “We would bring the person here, prepare the body, place them in a casket then take them to their home to lie in state. We don’t do that anymore. I’ve not done that one time in the last five years.
“The other thing is, most people years ago would have a church funeral. Now, people want convenience so they have a chapel funeral,” said Long. “Now we’re moving into an era where we are seeing a lot more cremations both for economic reasons and for convenience. In my generation, it seems like we had a lot of traditions; that’s the way your grandparents did it, that’s the way your parents did it and that’s the way I’ll do it. Today, people are so fast paced. In the past, we would have a three day visitation and funeral. Now we see a lot of one day services- a visitation for two hours and a funeral after the visitation the same day. Some of that has come about by companies who don’t allow their employees as much time off that they used to, and some of it is because we are so transient. In past times, everybody lived around each other, so when you had a funeral, everybody was already here. Now we have people flying in from other places, and will have a service on a Saturday that the person passed away two weeks before but we are waiting on everyone to get here.”
Working around death doesn’t come without the sadness and grief affecting you personally. “For any small town funeral home, the fact that you’ve grown up in this community and you know all of these people, and then to have a tragedy in their family, it touches you,” said Long. “It’s hard not to take that part of this business home with you.”
Putting things in perspective and knowing there is a purpose to serve is what keeps Long from being consumed by the sadness of the business. “The fact that you are helping people through this time, the fact that you can take their hand and hug their neck and walk them through this hard time is what helps get us through it,” said Long. “When it comes to children and young people, those are the hard times. Most of them are sudden and they are tragic. It’s so hard for families to deal with that and to understand why this has happened. Just to be there with them. And it helps us sometimes to know that they appreciate us, when they come up to me and say, ‘ I’m glad you took care of my daughter or my son.’ I want people to know when I pick up their loved one, I will take good care of their mom, their dad, their loved one. And they know I will.”
In addition to serving through the funeral business, Long has served his community for decades, and the two complement each other in his life. “I’ve always felt a need to serve,” said Long. “My father was a war hero; spent three years as a prisoner of war. It’s men like that who have made America what it is today. I wasn’t able to do that in that capacity, so I’ve always felt a need to give back and to serve. I want to leave something to my grandchildren that will help them in their quality of life.
“I served seven years on the Planning Commission as chairman,” said Long. “I’ve served many different roles in the Chamber of Commerce, I’ve been on and helped develop the Leadership Committee of the Chamber of Commerce and still to this day sponsor it; I served 12 years as a County Commissioner and four years on the City School Board. I think if you go back and look at the things I said 20 years ago, you will still find I’m saying todaywe’ve got to prepare our young people for the future and we’ve got to leave them some type of legacy they can build on.
“You make a lot of decisions serving that will affect future generations,” continued Long. “I always wanted to build on what we have so that our grandchildren would have some type of legacy. A lot of people will look at it and say, ‘Well what does he get out of this?’ I don’t think a lot of people understand what all serving involves, the hours you spend in meetings and communicating with the public. My family, they understand... I’m here, I’m not there at home, sometimes six or seven days a week. The spouses of people who serve go through a lot. It’s not easy, but it has been worth it and I enjoy it. That’s the reason I want to continue to serve.”
Long says that in both areas, listening to people is the most beneficial to serving. “If you give a person who has a problem five minutes, time to explain themselves and be heard, even if you can’t help them, they feel like you’ve heard and you’ve tried,” said Long “If you don’t (give a person time), you’ve made an enemy forever. That’s why when I was commissioner, I answered the phone. All the time. My number is in the book.”
Long is thankful for family and loves spending as much time as he can with them. “I’ve been married to my wife, Pat, for 41 years,” said Long. “I have two daughters, two son-in-laws and seven grandchildren. My downtime is spent going to ball games with the grandkids. My wife and I do like to travel; we’ve been all over Europe. We’ve travelled from Hawaii all the way to South Korea. We love to travel and I hope our health continues that we can enjoy future travel. I have a black belt in tae kwon do. I don’t kick very high anymore, but I enjoy it. I’ve jumped out of airplanes, I’ve bungee jumped, I read a lotthree newspapers a day. I try to keep involved in the community and spend time with my family.”
Long sees many more years of service at Thomas Funeral Home, serving the community in a way he is passionate about and in the way Thomas Funeral Home has always served the community. “We carry on a steep tradition of what J.W. and Evelyn Thomas laid out for us,” said Long.