‘Happy Memorial Day’ isn’t an appropriate greeting
Every year I hear it spoken, see it in print and television ads, and read it in dozens of social media posts by people who I’m certain mean well. “Happy Memorial Day” is one of those phrases that makes me cringe.
The commonly misused greeting doesn’t make me angry or offended, but rather it just annoys me that the person saying it hasn’t taken the time to think it through. To me it seems rather obvious, but I can understand how innocent ignorance of a holiday brings us such a backwards phrase.
The term “Happy Memorial Day” comes from a simple lack of understanding about a national holiday that is, in reality, much different than most others, but easily confused with a few related yearly observations.
Memorial Day — originally known as Decoration Day — is a time for the solemn remembrance of those American service members who paid the ultimate price in combat. Meant to be treated more like a funeral than a party, it is a holiday not for celebrating, but for commemorating.
Often confused with Veterans Day — a day in November set aside to pay gratitude to all who have served in the armed forces past and present — Memorial Day belongs only to the fallen.
Another minor holiday known as Armed Forces Day is designated as a time to thank only those who currently serve. Then there’s Medal of Honor Day to commemorate the bravery of the winners of the nation’s highest military honor. The multitude of similarly themed holidays can get confusing, which is why I don’t place full blame on those who mischaracterize Memorial Day.
As a veteran of Iraq, people have often thanked me on Memorial Day, which is appreciated, but not appropriate and can make for an awkward response and feeling. As mentioned before, that’s what Veterans Day is for. Since it’s widely considered the unofficial start of summer, it’s definitely a time to be happy for many people.
Memorial Day doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to my friends Paul Saylor, Thomas Strickland and Joshua Dingler. Memorial Day belongs to Joshua Munger, Benjamin Smith and Tyler MacKenzie. The holiday belongs to the well over one million U.S. service members from the beginning of the nation to present time who went off to war and never made it home again.
Since we’re all flooded with ads for Memorial Day sales for cars, clothing, furniture, electronics and everything else under the sun, it can often appear a time to celebrate and be happy, which also adds to the confusion.
I’ll be honest, even I got a great deal on interior house paint and a new flat screen TV last summer over the Memorial Day weekend. Though I’m just as guilty as anyone of taking advantage of a good sale, it doesn’t mean I think it’s appropriate for loud commercials about deep discounts on the latest SUV to turn a solemn day of reverence into some side show to boost summer sales.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t head out to the lake or go for a hike and enjoy yourself over Memorial Day weekend. I can confidently tell you the friends I lost in combat would certainly want us all to kick back and enjoy ourselves. Just make sure that when you’re cracking open a cold drink on the dock that you take a moment to reflect on the freedoms you enjoy. Remember those families who have a noticeable void around the table on this and every other holiday because a brother or sister, son or daughter, husband or wife went off to war and never came home.
My point here isn’t to make anyone feel bad or shameful for misunderstanding a holiday’s purpose. It’s much better for someone to know it’s Memorial Day and mark it on their calendar each year than to ignore it altogether. I’m just saying that it’s even more important to know what the day is about and who it’s meant to honor.
If you look far enough in your own family, circle of friends or local community, it isn’t difficult to find a personal connection of some sort to a fallen service member that you yourself can choose to remember at the start of each summer. There are plenty of local annual ceremonies that are held at various monuments right here in Rome and Floyd County like the one at Myrtle Hill’s Tomb of the Known Soldier — the grave of Private Charles Graves who was killed in World War I. There’s also a yearly Memorial Day commemoration at the World War II monument in Shannon that honors former employees who paid the ultimate sacrifice abroad.
Even if you can’t make it out to a cemetery or monument and even if you don’t pick a specific service member to remember on this Memorial Day, simply choose to remember. And for heaven’s sake … please stop saying “Happy Memorial Day.”