A hero emerges
There arrived on my desk this week a letter — an actual letter, printed on paper, stuffed in a lovely marbled envelope — that did not meet a couple of basic requirements to be printed as a “letter to the editor” but that I felt compelled to write about anyway.
Actually there were two letters — the one intended as a letter to the editor and another letter addressed personally to me that was intended to serve as an explanation of the other.
An explanation was required, you see, because our old-school letter writer refers to himself as “Mr. Sarcasticus.”
Mr. Sarcasticus acknowledges that it is typical newspaper policy to include the name of the writer in a letter to the editor. And that is, in fact, the policy of the Calhoun Times, which is why I can’t print the letter in its entirety.
“You might ask why I choose to keep my identity secret,” Mr. Sarcasticus writes, “All superheroes have an alter ego. Superman was mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent at The Daily Planet, while Spider-Man, AKA Peter Parker, was a photographer for The Daily Bugle. And a mask helped The Green Hornet expose the truth while publishing The Daily Sentinel as Britt Reed. And even humorist Samuel Langhorne Clemens went by the pen name of Mark Twain. And, besides, a little mystery evokes interest.”
The letter itself is a response to a recent letter to the editor submitted by Sid Collins of Resaca, who wanted to express his displeasure regarding a recent government reevaluation of the value of his property. Mr. Sarcasticus believes that letter was deserving of “a quick, honest and precise response.”
The following is a portion of that response: “It seems Mr. Collins took issue with the recent price increase dumped on him and other property owners by what he feels is the failure of the Gordon County Property Assessor’s Office to perform efficiently. I don’t know why Mr. Collins feels he lives in such an unrealistic world. I mean, he has the erroneous idea that people who are elected to public office should actually do something other than sit at their desk drinking coffee and eating donuts. And you know who you are. As far as land taxes and property values go, our local police force alone has to support three donut shops in Gordon County. There is a growing misunderstanding, in this little county and in our country at large, that elected officials are supposed to do something other than support their special interests’ groups agendas and do whatever gets them elected. It is quite an unreasonable position to expect people who are elected or paid by the citizens of the United States to do anything in the best interest of those citizens. How can the poor and struggling people in this economy expect their government to act responsibly with the illappropriated money they have collected?”
That’s just the opening paragraph, but you can probably understand why Mr. Sarcasticus has adopted a pseudonym to share these thoughts with the world.
The would-be hero points a proverbial feathered quill at wars fought for oil, inequality, fake news, computer games, cellphones and government overreach. True to his name, it’s all dripping with sarcasm.
In the third paragraph, Mr. Sarcasticus continues: “We have just celebrated another Fourth of July Independence Day that marked the birth of a once great country based on ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,’ which was traded in for endless taxes, credit card debt and the newest cellphone. Has Mr. Collins even considered a new cellphone to tranquilize his concerns?
At least that way he can be sure the government is listening to his concerns.”
The letter is clever and entertaining, though I think the writer was being a bit tough on our local elected officials.
For example, Mr. Sarcasticus writes: “Seriously, what does he expect? Elected officials and government workers doing the jobs they are paid to do?”
Sarcasm aside for a moment, that’s actually what citizens should expect. And I believe that’s exactly what happens. I’ve only been around here for about a month now, but the folks I’ve met have all been super helpful when I’ve called. If you disagree, I know your elected officials will take your call and/or would be willing to listen should you choose to attend a monthly meeting.
The problem with sarcasm is it doesn’t always translate well in print. Even calling oneself Mr. Sarcasticus in attempt to make clear the writing style is tongue-in-cheek leaves room for misinterpretation. Yes, the letter is full of what I think is obviously sarcastic commentary, but at the same time, how much of it truly represents what the writer believes?
Mr. Sarcasticus writes: “Really, Mr. Collins, most people can’t work a calculator these days, or count change when you pay with cash. And you want our Facebook, Twitter, trivia and trivial obsessed working officials to turn away from their cellphone distractions in pursuit of something nobler like equal and fair mathematical calculations on our taxes? Maybe if someone could figure out how to make an app for it.”
See, while that may be meant sarcastically, I would still take offense were I one of the working officials that Mr. Sarcasticus implies is obsessed with their cellphone.
I did enjoy reading both letters from Mr. Sarcasticus, though I’m not sure either rises to level of heroism referenced in the first one. A hero realizes there is a problem and takes action. Though these letters do point out real problems facing the world today — such as apathy, inequality and selfishness — the writer does not suggest any action to address these issues.
On the rear of the envelope I received was a handwritten quote from Oscar Wilde: “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth.”
I certainly believe there is a lot of truth in that statement. How many times have journalists had to rely on someone speaking off the record or unofficially to learn the truth of a situation? How often has an anonymous tip proven to be correct? So there is value in anonymity.
But what value is there in criticism lobbed from behind a mask? Mark Twain was a pen name, but the man behind the name did not hide from his opinions. In fact, I imagine plenty of people today would recognize Twain’s iconic bushy mustache and unkempt hair if shown a photo.
Something else Oscar Wilde once quipped: “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest for of intelligence.”
The problem, though, is that sarcasm by its very nature is often contemptuous, and that inspires conflict. But I don’t believe it has to be mean-spirited or rude. I’m also not opposed to conflict when it may be warranted, but if I take a stand on a divisive topic I will do so with my name, photo and email address attached.
I believe sarcasm can be an effective tool when used correctly, and I hope Mr. Sarcasticus will consider that as he pens his next letter.