January was National Stalking Awareness Month
Have you ever heard of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? Even if you haven’t, chances are high you’ve experienced it.
Sometimes referred to as “frequency illusion” or “recency illusion,” it’s when you have just noticed, experienced or learned about something, but suddenly that thing seems to be everywhere. It might be a new word or phrase or TV show, but a more common example is whenever you or someone you know gets a new vehicle and, as if suddenly, you start seeing the same make and model down every street and road around town.
The phenomenon is the result of a couple of little tricks your brain plays: First, on a subconscious level, your brain is realizing it has learned something new and will begin looking for that thing even if you aren’t consciously thinking about it; second, you experience a bit of confirmation bias even after you’ve only seen the thing only once or twice more.
The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon is relevant to today’s column because I recently experienced it myself.
For a couple of days recently, it seemed like everywhere I turned the topic of discussion was stalking. I saw someone in the daily jail reports that was charged with the crime; I spoke to someone who said they had recently had an experience with a stalker; and a friend of mine was worried she might have a stalker.
To top it off, a few of us around the office had been talking about this very topic while having lunch together when someone discovered a poster on the back of a bathroom door at the restaurant announcing January as National Stalking Awareness Month.
Now, let me say that I don’t believe in fate or destiny or that the universe was trying to tell me something. I know it was merely coincidence or happenstance that the topic of stalking seems to be a popping all around me.
But, you know, just in case, the following are some current facts from the Stalking Research Center:
♦ 7.5 million people are stalked in one year in the United States.
♦ 15% of women and 6% of men have experienced stalking victimization at some point in their lifetime during which they felt fearful or believed they or someone close to them would be harmed.
♦ 61% of female victims and 44% of male victims of stalking are stalked by a former or current partner; 25% of female victims and 32% of male victims are stalked by an acquaintance.
♦ About 66% of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily, using more than one method.
♦ 78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.
♦ Almost 33% of stalkers have stalked previously.
♦ Weapons are used to harm of threaten victims in one out of five cases.
♦ 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next.
♦ 29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop.
♦ One in eight victims will lose time at work as a result of their victimization.
♦ One in seven victims will move as a result.
The Stalking Research Center describes the most common stalking practices as approaching the victim or showing up in places when the victim didn’t want them to be there; making unwanted phone calls; leaving the victim unwanted messages (text or voice); and watching or following the victim from a distance, or spying with a listening device, camera, or global positioning system.
The organization also says that the prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involves being followed or having one’s property destroyed.
I have, both personally and professionally, been the victim of a stalker in the past, and I can attest that it does result in plenty of undue stress and anxiety. Fortunately for me, I have successfully ended previous situations through either direct confrontation or by simply ignoring the individual until they moved on to someone or something else.
But I know not everyone is as lucky. So, should you find yourself the victim of a stalker, the research center suggests:
♦ If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
♦ Trust your instincts.
♦ Take threats seriously.
♦ Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you.
Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else.
♦ Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
♦ Keep evidence of the stalking.
♦ Contact the police. Every state has stalking laws
♦ Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you.
♦ Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support.
I can only echo this advice, so if you ever find yourself in this sort of situation, err on the side of caution and take steps to protect yourself. Be safe, y’all.