Possum gets a haircut
It had been a rough week. Eagle and Bear were in the middle of a very aggressive campaign for Principal Chief and their supporters were taking to the street in a very real way.
Some of the birds were supporting Bear and some of the animals were supporting Eagle. This conundrum was causing tension within the clans since many thought that folks should support the candidate from their own clan regardless of other considerations. To make the tension even worse, it was the hottest summer the Cherokee country had seen in years. Everybody was on edge. I went over to Rabbit’s place to unwind; it was not a good time for Possum to make a scene.
In those days Possum was not the nocturnal little animal we know today. No, in those days Possum was a tall pretty boy with a long bushy tail. He was a very egotistical fellow with poor manners who liked to bully folks, always bragging about how pretty he was and running down everybody else. We all know somebody like this I think, and we usually blame on the whisky.
But Possum did not drink, which made some folks wonder why he hung around Rabbit’s place to begin with. But Rabbit’s place was not the only place Possum liked to make a nuisance of himself, not by a long shot. The Ceremonial Grounds, the Tribal Council, anywhere the People gathered, you would find Possum making a bully and a jackass of himself.
The People put up with Possum’s shenanigans for a very long time, but patience was wearing thin. With all the tension from the campaign, the heat, and everything else, it was not a good time for Possum to be showing off.
But Possum never did have good sense. We were all over at Rabbit’s place to unwind and to remind ourselves that despite our differences, political or otherwise, we were all Cherokees. The evening was going pretty good along those lines until Possum walked in. You could feel the air in the room change. Wolf, the bouncer, was standing next to the bar, you could see him tense up, he nodded to his crew, they took their places. As expected, Possum started in with his usual routine, but this time he started picking on the Otter twins.
The Otter twins were friendly and fun loving but they never went home with anybody, their daddy was a river trader and was often away from home on business, but Mama Otter kept a close eye on her family and everyone respected her. No one would have ever thought of disrespecting any of the Otter family ... except Possum.
Rattlesnake and his cousin Copperhead were in their corner table and I was in my regular spot with my back to the wall. When Possum walked in, he beelined for the Otter twins who were on the dance floor just having a good time. Possum walked straight onto the dance floor and started showing his tail, bragging about himself and insulting everybody, including the band.
After a few minutes Wolf decided it had gone far enough and told Possum to leave. Possum took a swing at Wolf and it all went to hell from there. After a few minutes we managed to get Possum out and the door closed behind him.
But this time, we decided something else needed to be done. Something permanent.
We were standing around the bar discussing the situation when Grasshopper walked in and took Copperhead off to the side. After a few minutes they both came over and told us the plan.
They next week Rabbit and Grasshopper went to Possum’s house and told him how sorry they were about the whole incident and started flattering him and telling him what a fine fellow he was. Possum ate all of this up without a second thought of course, and Grasshopper told him that he would fix his bushy tail better and more beautiful than ever before. Rabbit tells him he will have a party in his honor the next weekend. Grasshopper tells Possum not to unwrap his tail until the party or it will ruin his tail and make him ugly.
After Rabbit and Grasshopper left his house, Possum was so satisfied with himself he went around and told everybody how he had won the day. He wanted to unwrap his tail and look, but his vanity outweighed his good sense.
The next week saw the largest crowd ever at Rabbit’s place, even those who normally would not be caught dead at Rabbit’s place wanted to be there to see Possum get hit just desserts. Everybody gathered around when Possum walked in in all his glory and unwrapped his tail for everyone to see.
But when he unwrapped it, it was not beautiful and bushy as it had been, it was bald like you see it today. When everyone saw it, they all began to laugh. The whole country rang with the laughter from Rabbit’s place.
Possum was so ashamed he ran out into the road and was run over by pulpwood truck.
The lesson Dear Brother, is this: Do not be an egotistical jackass. Be kind and walk with honor among the People, lest you too be shamed and run over by a pulpwood truck.