A remarkable boy
Achild is born to a young couple. He is a big strong boy, 9 lbs., 3 oz. He has a little trouble at first with some amniotic fluid getting into his lungs, but that rights itself and he is fine. He has a bit of jaundice, but he comes home doing well and the jaundice clears up.
He is a good baby and sleeps well. He is a joy, much loved by his mother and father, grandparents, everyone. And he’s beautiful, perfect. He grows quickly and has no health problems. Before too long, he turns over, begins crawling, and walks a little before his first birthday.
Before too long, he begins preschool. This is when his parents, teachers and others noticed his lack of control of his emotions. If he got angry, he couldn’t stop the anger. It escalated to out of control. His parents were puzzled. They’d try all kinds of disciplinary measures, some more drastic than others. Nothing worked to stop his rage.
People didn’t understand. At 3 years old he was reading from old encyclopedias and he was knowledgeable about art and science. At 4, he asked questions his father, who was an educator working toward advanced degrees, couldn’t answer. The boy would find out the answers. He was amazing to watch. Yet, his personal control of himself was lacking.
He was dismissed from preschools. He had no friends. He sometimes tried to put rocks in other children’s mouths. His parents started the journey to find out what was going on with their child. His mother would cry in the shower so no one could hear her. His father would say, “I just wish my boy could have a normal life.”
Soon he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a condition linked with autism, a serious developmental disorder that impairs the ability to communicate and interact. He was found to be on the high end of the spectrum and this condition he had could be treated but never cured.
His parents immediately go into high gear and sought out the best solutions for him, which included certain drugs to keep him focused and to help him get control of his behavior. They sought out the best teachers who were aware of Asperger’s and autism. He was in special education classes for autistic children and because of his parents’ support and the excellence of his teachers, he began to make strides toward a somewhat normal life.
His brilliance of the mind helped, but finding friends for him, even those who had Asperger’s, was not easy. When he was 9, his teachers and his parents decided to have a birthday party for him and invited all his classmates. He had made enough strides to be in some regular classes, but making friends was still elusive.
When the party started, something remarkable happened. All the kids gravitated toward the boy. They started a game with swords and knights in shining armor. They played together and no one would have guessed that the boy had autism. They were laughing, shouting and being typical for at least an hour before the cake and pinata was done. The mother and the teacher stood there crying with happiness. This was a pivotal moment. It was like he had arrived ... finally
Throughout the rest of his formal education, he continued to improve and to make friends. He liked debate and joined the debate team. He was part of the Academic Team. He got a job at a restaurant. He had a girlfriend for a time. He got his driver’s license. It got to the point that unless a person knew his history, they would not think he had any kind of disability.
He knows he has an autistic condition. He knows how much his parents sacrificed for him and how his teachers prepared him for a normal life. He knows his mom and dad wrote out everything he needed to do during the day from brushing his teeth to remembering to feed the dog. And they did this for years. As he grew older, he grew more responsible.
From the beginning, he needed to learn appropriate behavior. He needed to learn how to communicate appropriately. He needed to learn what loving someone meant and show that love for his mother and father, his grandparents, his new sister, and others. He and his sister have always been close. They have a special bond.
A few days ago, he graduated with honors from his high school. He has his plans for the future. He’ll go to a community college his first year and then on to the University of Georgia. After he graduates from there, he plans to attend law school.
Years ago, when he was 4, he loved a sweet cat named Ferret, and Ferret loved him. He asked me, “Grammy, is it okay to have a cat as a best friend?”
I assured him it was.
Congratulations, Jeffrey. You did it and did it well. You have grown beyond a remarkable boy. You are on your way to being a remarkable man. And you are loved.